It’s been well over a year now since I last reviewed for an Australian independent maker, and oh how things have changed in that time! It feels like just yesterday I was introducing Darque Path and Faux Phallus at the blog, two of the very first local stores to pop up, and now all my dreams have finally come true, with a thriving community of small businesses being located right here down under. One of these such brands is Midnight Menagerie, a Queensland-based shop very much after my own heart. With a range of fantasy designs available in a range of beautiful colours, they also offer TTRPG dice for games such as Dungeons & Dragons, which I’m more than a little partial to. But the thing that most excites me is the variety of size options they offer their toys in, and so when they recently suggested sending me their latest design, the Teufl, I knew it would suit me perfectly.

The Brand

Opening in September 2022, Midnight Menagerie came onto the scene to ensure both Australians and their international fans have easy access to high-quality, body-safe, approachable and affordable sex toys in a variety of shapes and firmnesses. Offering a small but growing collection of unique fantasy designs, they regularly have drops of premade items in a range of different colours, sizes and densities, to ensure you can find the perfect fit for you. Plus, as I mentioned before, for any TTRPG players, they also sell handmade dice, if you really wanna show off at your next game night. All silicone toy orders will receive a small version of the same model in a random colour and / or firmness, and whilst they are based locally, they’re currently also shipping to New Zealand, Canada, the US and the UK. For updates on their next drop, make sure to subscribe to their newsletter or follow them on social media.

Product Description

The Teufl is Midnight Menagerie’s newest model, and I am lucky enough to be one of the first people to try it! A classic fantasy design, this dildo reminds me most of a dragon due to the pronounced ridges on its underside, which look almost like a spine. This is followed by a large bulb, the toy’s widest point, before thinning and then widening out again as the base. It is here you’ll find even more clues to its reptilian nature, with three different styles of scale all providing extra stimulation to those who take the whole thing. Lovers of realistic toys are not left out either though, as the Teufl features a phallic-style head and veins, and in this respect it’s the perfect crossover between fantasy and realism, and a great way for those experienced in one style to get a taste of the other. With a maximum diameter of 4.1cm / 1.62″ before the bulb and a maximum of 5.1cm / 2″ after the bulb, alongside an insertable length of 15.5cm / 6.1″, this is Midnight Menagerie’s small version of the design (although personally I consider this to be quite a large toy), and for those who want something even more they also make it in medium. As for the colour, the brand asked me my preferences, which were cool tones, fades and sparkles. I couldn’t be happier with the result, which is a light blue pearlescent colour at the top, which fades into white at the bulb, and then back to a warmer blue which looks practically holographic in the sunlight. These tonal changes have also created a ribbon-style effect which is absolutely beautiful, and as a whole the quality of this toy is superb, without a flaw in sight. The body-safe silicone is then super soft with their EF 0030 density, which I also requested, and this feels great to the touch, being somehow both buttery and tacky. Finally, whilst this toy is technically anal-safe, I would advise caution since the base is a tad small, and this might also affect harness use, so I do not believe it would be universally compatible.

Packaging

My order for the Teufl was placed with Midnight Menagerie on the 29th of September and I received it on the 4th of October. The box was then mostly discreet, not listing what was inside, although the company name was displayed, which doesn’t tell you anything at first glance but is searchable if someone really wanted to know. Opening it up, I then found the Teufl in a vacuum sealed bag amongst some recyclable packaging paper. Also included was a mini version of my toy, which is really cool. Whilst I’m used to receiving these little silicone pieces when working with indie makers, this is the first time I’ve received a replica of my design, complete with all the same colours! Plus, the other addition was a certificate, which has been printed on some aged paper and sealed with a custom gold wax seal featuring the Midnight Menagerie logo. This is absolutely perfect for the fantasy element of their brand, and the kind of extra touch that makes me love working with small businesses. Listing the toy’s name, as well as the size and firmness, this is something I’ll treasure, and also works well as a certificate of authenticity.

My Experience

The largest toy I’ve ever been able to insert (after considerable effort) was the Uberrime Dr. Manhattan in 2019, which came in at 4.65cm / 1.83″ in diameter. Since then I’ve had some bad experiences of trying and failing to use anything larger, but more recently I’ve been feeling ready to try again thanks to Freely. They let me create my own custom toy, and I went with a bowling pin-style design that had a slow ramp up to a 4.57cm / 1.8″ diameter. The idea was to make it easier for me to enjoy girth, which it did, and thus use it as a warm up aid to try even larger toys. So, enter the “small” Midnight Menagerie Teufl with its 5.1cm / 2″ diameter. I knew I’d be able to enjoy the first few inches, which was good enough for me, but that bulb was the perfect way for me to test my theory. At least, that’s what I thought, until the unexpected happened. Because not only can I use the full length of the Teufl, but I don’t even need to warm up to do so!

I’m still in shock. It could be magic, but I think it probably has more to do with the Teufl’s superb shape and density. In fact, I’ve actually taken to thinking of it as a fantasy version of my Freely Custom Dildo. Whilst the two look very different, if you strip them down to their most basic elements, they are almost identical. Starting with a thin tapered head, both toy’s feature a soft silicone and gradual ramp up of girth, before thinning out again before the base. It has meant that, like with the slightly smaller Custom Dildo, inserting the Midnight Menagerie Teufl is easy, and I am then able to slowly thrust it, going deeper each time, until I eventually can take all of it. This is something I have thoroughly enjoyed in particular, with the large bulb having the most immensely satisfying filling feeling, and I’ve loved inserting it for the first time upon the point of orgasm to really heighten the sensation. Then, after this, being able to continue thrusting it in and out of me is just otherworldly. Plus, it’s handy between orgasms too, as it works like a plug, allowing me to leave it in whilst I take a break. As for the textural design, I also really enjoyed this. Whilst it can definitely be felt, the soft silicone keeps it subtle enough to not be overwhelming. My favourite part is the ridged spine on the underside, and whilst this feels good from any angle, I have taken to using the toy with this area facing up, to really get the most out of it. Although I also have to give a shout-out to that tapered tip, as even though it’s realistic, it feels more tentacle-like in use (perhaps because of the increase in girth that follows it), and so I have loved rubbing this outside my entrance before insertion. If I did have to name one downside to the Teufl, however, it would have to be base. I just feel like it is too small, and so once you get past the bulb and it starts to get messy, it can be difficult to maintain a grip.

Cleaning & Care

As the Midnight Menagerie Teufl is 100% silicone and waterproof, cleaning it is easy. To start, I’d recommend soaking it in some warm soapy water, and then you may also want to give any prominent areas of texture a scrub with a spare toothbrush. After this you can rinse it with hot water, leave to air dry, and then place in a ziplock bag to keep clean (as otherwise it’ll attract dust). For a more complete clean, primarily when switching the toy between orifices or partners, you can then sterilise it by soaking it in a 10% bleach solution or boiling it. Although Midnight Menagerie points out on their website that repeated boiling can slowly increase the firmness or darken items made of Near Clear silicone. Finally, only use water-based lubricants with this product, as other kinds may damage the toy’s material.

Final Thoughts

The Midnight Menagerie Teufl isn’t just another review product for me. Rather, it represents a huge goal in my sex toy journey finally being achieved, and a significant turning point for me. For the first time in over four years, my record for widest girth has been broken, and not just by a little bit either. I was so hopeful that I would be able to use the full length of this toy, but even that was with a long warming up period in mind. The fact that I was able to just insert this like any other dildo, as if the girth didn’t even matter? Well I’m frankly gobsmacked, and so thankful to Midnight Menagerie for giving me this opportunity. Plus, even without all of this record breaking, this is a damn good toy. The shape is so satisfying and I love the subtle textural elements, particularly that ridged spine. My only downside was the base, which I just think needs widening a tad. Not only will this make holding it during use easier, but it’ll also make the toy more anal safe and help its harness compatibility, which is really a win win. Overall, I cannot recommend this toy more to those like me looking for an accessible (and much cheaper than the Freely Custom Dildo!) way to try larger girths. Of course, if you’re just here for the beautiful fantasy design and that texture, then you’re also in luck, and don’t forget the Teufl also comes in a larger size for those looking for an even greater challenge.

You can get the Teufl directly from Midnight Menagerie starting at just $99.95 AUD / $63.60 USD!

Last updated: 31/10/23

Price at the time of writing: $99.95 AUD / $63.60 USD

This post was sponsored by Midnight Menagerie, but as always, all opinions are my own. 

Recently I’ve been spending a lot of time at r/SexToys helping to answer people’s questions (say hi if you see me!), and I’ve realised most posts fall into one of two categories. There are the beginners who have no idea where to start or what would work best for them, and then there is the exact opposite: people who know exactly what they want and just need help finding it. It’s made me more aware of just how versatile our desires can be, with many of these requests being for toys outside of the norm (hence why they’re struggling to locate them), particularly when it comes to sizing. I’m so accustomed to the average 18cm / 7″ length and 3.8cm / 1.5″ diameter of penetrables that I barely even stop to think about it, yet it seems there are plenty of people out there yearning for something different, from toys that are long and thin, short and thick, and every possible combination in between. So, when Funzze approached me about collaborating with them, I was instantly intrigued when I saw the Mini Realistic Dildo in their new arrivals.

Product Description

This Funzze toy is certainly realistic, although the term “Mini” may not be totally accurate here. Instead of a sized-down miniature version of a dildo (like the kind you get for free from indie makers sometimes), it is really just a realistic dildo with smaller than average proportions. This is most apparent in the insertable length of the toy, which at 7.4cm / 2.9″ makes it the shortest dildo I own. However, despite this it is not the thinnest, with its 3.2cm / 1.25″ girth beating out toys like the Tantus Splish. And even with all of this, the toy itself isn’t that small, as its insertable length is supplemented by large testicles and a prominent suction cup, giving the Funzze Mini Realistic Dildo a total length of 13.5cm / 5.3″. Dual density silicone then ensures a realistic feel, and whilst this firm inner core is not present in the head (not only aiding the fantasy but insertion too), it starts just after this, allowing for a filling shaft that is softest on the side facing the balls. Plus, so much detailing is present to further enhance this realism, from veins, skin pores, folds around the head and so much more. The underside of the testicles and the suction cup are then made of a different silicone, which seems to get strangely oily after being unused for an extended period, but both this and the material the toy is made of have been flame tested by me prior to testing to confirm they’re body-safe. Of the two realistic shades Funzze offer the toy in, I then received it in their “Flesh Brown”, but there is also “Flesh Pink” for those interested. Finally, in addition to all of this, the Mini Realistic Dildo is also waterproof, anal-safe, and harness compatible.

Packaging

My order for the Mini Realistic Dildowas placed with Funzze on the 15th of March and I received it on the 26th. The package was then 100% discreet, with no mention of the sender or what was contained within. Inside, everything was packaged the same as previous orders, and it is this level of consistency that is part of why Funzze are my favourite white-label retailer. A simple cardboard box branded with just a removable slip of paper, for maximum reusability and discretion, I then found the toy alongside a card detailing Funzze’s one year warranty and a gold branded storage bag that fits the Mini Realistic Dildo perfectly.

My Experience

With a slim shaft and squishy head, inserting the Funzze Mini Realistic Dildo is easy. And considering Funzze advertise it as a beginners toy, this is great news. Of course, thrusting it in, it only goes so far, and with a straight, flexible shaft, there’s no chance for G-Spot stimulation either. Yet despite these limitations, the Mini Realistic Dildo is still able to shine. First of all, the realism is on point, from the dual-density silicone to all of that detailing. This can definitely be felt, helping to deepen the fantasy and also add a level of texture, particularly with that prominent head that provides a popping sensation every time I thrust it. Next, for lovers of testicles, this toy is perfect. By having far less lead up to them than normal, they take much more of a leading role in play, with quicker thrusts for more frequent contact. Finally, by having a shorter shaft, you are able to really let loose and thrust fast and hard with the Funzze Mini Realistic Dildo, as there is no chance of hurting yourself by thrusting the toy too deep. Plus, this kind of combos with what I was saying about the testicles, as this sped up thrusting provides a level of force that cannot be achieved with longer dildos, to really offer that sensation of them hitting against you. Pairing it with a good clitoral vibrator, like the We-Vibe Touch X, I then find orgasm comes easily with the Mini Realistic Dildo, and it is very satisfying.

Suction Cup

The suction cup on the Funzze Mini Realistic Dildo is very strong, easily staying put on any smooth surface you have to offer it. Although this is one area where its short length is a real detriment, as you’re going to need to be very close to the wall or floor where you stick it in order to actually be penetrated, which is harder than it sounds when you’re on your knees or squatting. This may be alright for younger people, but I’m not up for the challenge. With this in mind, I think the suction cup here is more beneficial as a handle or as a way to use the toy with a harness. Alternatively, it is also handy if you want to use the Mini Realistic Dildo for blow jobs, as it is much easier to get your mouth against a wall than your ass.

Cleaning & Care

As the Funzze Mini Realistic Dildo is 100% silicone and waterproof, cleaning it is easy. To start, I’d recommend soaking it in some warm water, and then you’ll want to go over it with a soft spare toothbrush and soap before rinsing. Leave it to air dry, and after this you can place it into its storage bag to keep clean, as otherwise it will attract dust and hair. Because it is so heavily textured, you’ll also want to sterilise it every few uses, or when switching the toy between orifices or partners, and whilst Funzze does not mention a recommended method, you should be able to follow my suggestions here. Finally, only use water-based lubricants with this product, as other kinds may damage the toy’s material.

Final Thoughts

When I first requested the Mini Realistic Dildo, Funzze were a little hesitant as they were unsure I would be happy with this new and strangely proportioned toy in their inventory. But whilst I do enjoy a bit of G-Spot stimulation from my penetrable toys every now and then, I am not someone who otherwise cares too much about length or girth. For me, my priorities are texture and ease of insertion, two things the Mini Realistic Dildo offered in abundance. And if you haven’t already noticed, I also have a bit of a thing for testicles. So as long as it had enough length to offer easy thrusting, I knew this toy would be a winner. Being able to insert it right off the bat was great for my lazy style of masturbation, and also makes it an ideal option for any beginners who want to start with a realistic dildo but who are only able to find average or above measurements. Then, due to the shaft length, I could thrust it far harder and faster than normal, not only amplifying stimulation within my vagina, but also offering further external pleasure from the testicles. Plus, there is one last thing that Funzze have done right with this toy that I haven’t mentioned yet, and that is its budget-friendly pricing, making my recommendation easy. So, if you have similar preferences to me, or are looking for your first dildo, it’s going to be hard to pass up the Mini Realistic Dildo, especially if you are looking for this level of realism.

You can get the Mini Realistic Dildo directly from Funzze for just $44 AUD / $29.99 USD!

Last updated: 11/7/24

Price at the time of writing: $44 AUD / $29.99 USD

This post was sponsored by Funzze, but as always, all opinions are my own.

It’s been 19 years since Njoy launched and changed the sex toy industry forever. Coming onto the market with a very small selection of dildos and butt plugs, their commitment to delivering high-quality stainless steel toys paired with carefully considered designs remains unmatched today. Since then, they have only released one other dildo, the Eleven in 2008, bringing their selection to a grand total of three, with the other two being the legendary Pure Wand and the versatile Fun Wand. Whilst I adore the Pure Wand and regularly talk about it here, even though my review was almost eight years ago (!!!), neither the Eleven or Fun Wand ever felt suitable for me personally, with the former being too big and the latter being more akin to an anal version of the Pure Wand. So, although I am very satisfied with just the Pure Wand, I’ll admit I have often thought about what it would be like if this iconic company ever released something new. Well, the wait is finally over, as I am pleased to introduce you to the Njoy Disco.

Product Description

To say I was ecstatic when I heard about the release of the Njoy Disco is an understatement. In fact, when Peepshow Toys offered it to me for review I was just going to sleep after staying up too late, yet I got right up to confirm my availability (cut to me trying to be professional instead of just screaming “YES!!!” into their DMs) and then proceeded to be too excited to fall asleep. As the makers of my absolute favourite dildo, the Pure Wand, I barely even stopped to check the measurements of this product, which could have ended badly if they had continued the trend set with their Eleven. Thankfully though the Disco is only slightly above average in girth for a dildo. This, however, will almost certainly be the first and last time you hear me use the word “average” about this toy, as it is otherwise anything but. Consisting of five flat discs, the direction they face alternates, so that if you place it down, three are flat and two are standing up. This strange shape has the intriguing effect of making the Disco look like two different toys depending on the angle you view it from, with a top-down view looking akin to anal beads, and a view from the side looking more like a dildo with five spheres stacked on top of each other and gradually reducing in size. It has been designed this way with fans of extreme sensation in mind, and promises to “pop like crazy as you turn the Disco side to side”. In addition to the unusual shaft, there is also a handle that is similar to the Njoy plug range, consisting of a thin neck before ending in a loop perfect for holding the toy. Plus, in addition to the Njoy logo located at the end of this loop, the first 1000 Discos have their production number etched here, with my copy being 0403 / 1000! As always, this toy uses Njoy’s signature 316 medical-grade stainless steel that has been hand polished to perfection, and this is predictably very heavy at 1.4kg in weight. It is then anal-safe, body-safe and waterproof, with an insertable length of 15cm / 5.9″, total length of 20cm / 7.9″, and a diameter between 3cm / 1.18″ and 5cm / 1.96″.

Packaging

My order for the Njoy Disco was placed with Peepshow Toys on the 1st of June and I received it on the 11th. The package was then 100% discreet, with no mention of the sender or the contents. In addition to their high-quality products, Njoy are known for their luxurious packaging. Not only is this appropriate for their price, helping to enhance the experience of receiving the product and providing you a keepsake box or storage solution, but it also allows their heavy toys to remain safe during transit. I loved the packaging my Njoy Pure Wand came in, so much so that it is the only box I have held onto, despite it being so many years since that review, but even this feels a little outdated to me these days. So I was eager to see just how the Njoy Disco would come, especially after hearing about the more recent Eleven’s leather bag. A hard black case, similar to what my Pure Wand arrived in, comes covered by a white sleeve. It is quite discreet, just featuring the Njoy logo, whilst a removable sticker also shows their website url and the Disco’s silhouette. Once removed, the black case again just features the Njoy logo and nothing else, and the top can be swung open like a treasure chest. The inside is then very luxurious, with padded velvet lining and ribbons in order to keep everything in place. But that’s not even the best part, because the Disco also comes with a matching storage case. Made of a thick, leather-like silver material with a debossed logo and striking black thread, this case looks amazing and fits the Disco perfectly. Plus, the lid is magnetised, so once inside you don’t need to worry about the Disco’s weight causing it to just fall out. Overall, both the storage case and bag are amazing. Seriously, either one of them I would have been very happy with and are above and beyond what I usually get with sex toys, but they have included both!! They also really aren’t the sort of thing you throw away, so, just like with my Pure Wand, I will be keeping these.

My Experience

With a thin, tapered head, the Njoy Disco is easy to initially insert. In fact, the shape is very reminiscent of all the tentacle toys I have been trying lately, and this has led to me almost thinking of this toy as a robot tentacle arm. The smoothness of the metal then allows the rest of the toy to glide right on in, and this is kinda whether you want it to or not, since gravity is going to be in full force here with its 1.4kg. As for the larger bulb, this is fairly big for me, being only 1mm / 0.04″ less than the largest dildo I’ve ever taken. However, because this girth is only on one axis, rather than being a consistent diameter, I find it much easier to take, a win that is no doubt also contributed to by the smooth and heavy material. Once fully in, I was actually surprised to find that the Disco’s weight gives it the ability to stay put, without having to hold onto it. This doesn’t happen often with vaginal toys since they like to make their way out on their own, and it isn’t something that’s really possible with the Njoy Pure Wand’s shape either. It kind of reminds me of the SquarePegToys G squeeze, and with this in mind the Njoy Disco can certainly be used as a vaginal plug, remaining stationary whilst enhancing any other pleasure you’ve got going on. Plus, you can also flex your muscles against it, with the unique shape also working its magic here. So, once again, Njoy has managed to create a heavy toy that at first doesn’t seem very accessible to those with any kind of mobility issues, only for it to in fact require less effort than your average dildo.

Of course, things do continue to amp up once you begin to move the Njoy Disco. With the weight providing a constant sensation of pressure on my vaginal walls, slow movements are best here. Even if you want to speed things up, the sensation of being repeatedly opened as the toy works its way in like a corkscrew will definitely make you put the brakes on, and this stimulation will change depending on the angle you hold the Disco’s handle. While the toy is not curved like the Pure Wand, the prominent ridges of the Disco’s discs (I just got the name) are absolutely enough to rub against my G-Spot. So whether I am inserting it or rotating it, ample stimulation is provided, and that popping sensation that was mentioned on Peepshow Toy’s listing is truly at work here. The best bit though is that it is so versatile, and whilst I have plenty of notes to talk about, I am constantly discovering new ways to use it. My favourite method so far though has to be inserting it fully, and then rotating it back and forth or around in circles to repeatedly “pop” myself open and rub against my G-Spot. It is a sensation unlike anything I’ve ever felt before and I am unable to fully put it into words, but it is amazing, and I truly cannot get enough. The only downside is that in order to reach climax I would ideally like the sensation to occur faster and more frequently, but when playing solo I am unable to reach the speed I desire with the loop handle. And this is really an overarching problem for me with this product, as I am used to things being fast and powerful, whilst the Njoy Disco likes a more gradual pace for subtler stimulation. So, whilst I enjoy using it immensely, it doesn’t give me anything akin to the wild orgasms of the Njoy Pure Wand, instead being better for foreplay or longer drawn-out sessions where I am happy for the sensations to slowly build. If you do decide to pick up the pace though, there are two potential problems to consider: first is that the Disco can occasionally become “stuck” once it has been fully inserted, whether because of the shape or some kind of air seal being made, so you will need to gently dislodge it by slowly rotating it. Secondly, the firm pointed tip can be uncomfortable or even hurt if thrusted too deeply too fast.

Temperature Play

I can’t talk about my experience with the Njoy Disco without mentioning temperature play. I am writing this review in the middle of winter, and it would have been practically impossible without being able to first warm the toy up. I find just running it under the hot tap for 30 seconds or so results in a heat that remains long enough for me to use it without having to rush, and I’ve got to say, inserting a hot metal toy inside your body on a cold winter’s day is unlike anything else. It might not necessarily be sexual pleasure, but it still feels like absolute bliss, and it has really enhanced my experience with the Disco. Of course, this’ll also work well in summer for the opposite reason, as you can instead cool it down. And for those who want some added sensation any time of year, it is a quick way to mix things up and one of the reasons I love metal as a toy material so much.

Cleaning & Care

Cleaning the Njoy Disco couldn’t be easier, although you do have to be careful to hold onto it, as if you were to drop it I’m pretty sure the Disco itself would be fine, but I’m not so sure about my sink or foot! For regular cleaning, just submerge it in warm soapy water and give it a once over, before rinsing, towel drying, and polishing with a soft cloth. Then, you’ll want to sterilise it if sharing with a partner or switching from anal to vaginal play, and you can do this by placing it in boiling water or submerging it in a mild 10% bleach solution, rinsing well after. Additionally, Njoy warns against using abrasive cleaners or pads, as these may damage the toy’s shine. Although another upside is that, as with all Njoy products, the Disco is compatible with all styles of lubricant.

Final Thoughts

My experience with the Njoy Disco has been a bit of an odd one. Firstly, I think this toy is perfection. Whilst I have mixed feelings about its use, in regards to its design, packaging, and every other objective aspect to it, I don’t have a single complaint. It is a work of art, and to come up with such an original dildo design in 2024 when it feels like we’ve seen it all is truly impressive. Even if this design had been previously done in silicone though, I doubt it would have had the same impact, as it needs that weight and that silky smooth metal in order to truly shine (literally and figuratively). In my short testing period, I found so many different ways to enjoy this toy, and almost all of them provided sensations I had never experienced before in ways I had never considered before. As a vaginal plug, the design was magnificent to squeeze myself against, making it ideal for use alongside a suction toy or clit vibe, and as a dildo I found the sensation of popping myself open repeatedly whilst applying pressure to my G-Spot truly out of this world. The flip side to this though, is that the Disco didn’t give me the huge orgasms I was expecting it to. In fact, I found it rather difficult to orgasm with, a trait that sharply contrasts my experience with the Njoy Pure Wand. This could be because my body is still getting used to the different sensations, although I feel it is more because this is a toy intended for slower stimulation than what I am accustomed to. Yet despite all this, the Disco is still a winner for me, and I am looking forward to continuing my use of it. But, for anyone wondering if they should drop hundreds of dollars to get one for yourself, it’s certainly something that might change your mind.

You can get the Njoy Disco from Peepshow Toys for just $269 AUD / $180 USD, plus use my code GRACE to get 10% OFF your total order!

Last updated: 19/7/24

Price at the time of writing: $269 AUD / $180 USD

I received this product in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. Affiliate links have been used in this post.

I love browsing the new arrivals section at Funzze to see all the latest sex toys they’re offering. Not only are they surprisingly high-quality and enjoyable products for a white-label retailer (so much so that they dominated last year’s Top 10 Sex Toys), but they are also some of the cheapest on the market. So when I recently saw they had launched a new range of glass toys, my first impression was one of excitement, especially when I noticed their Glass Tentacle dildo, a style I have been wanting to review for a long time. But… after this initial reaction, I hesitated. Even though I regularly talk about glass sex toys and how safe they are, I have actually only reviewed a few, and that was some time ago. Funzze’s options, to make matters even more uncertain, are made of borosilicate glass, yet are not annealed. I ended up doing a lot of research, and you can probably guess the outcome…

Is It Safe?

So, yes, I decided to review the Funzze Glass Tentacle. At least, as long as I found no issues with it upon arrival. Borosilicate glass is great, as it makes dildos more sturdy and less likely to break, but annealing is a process you really should want your toy to have been through. It removes stress points in the dildo, which are the areas most likely to cause issues, and thus creates a much safer product overall. At first, I thought Funzze’s options not being annealed was a deal breaker for me, but after consulting Dangerous Lilly’s guide on glass dildo safety, I was swayed. As she points out, whilst annealed toys are safer, non-annealed products are still very unlikely to break, especially if they are cared for well and inspected prior to every use. This was the first thing I did when the Glass Tentacle arrived, and next I decided to follow the same guide in order to “view” just how stressed this dildo really was.

Using a circular polarising lens in a dark room with a bright white screen on my computer behind it, I was able to take a look at any stress points within the Funzze Glass Tentacle and any other glass products I wanted. It was my first time trying it, and was actually very cool and really effective! You can see the results above, but basically it seems the toy only has a light amount of stress, not at all the rainbows I was expecting from it not being annealed. This is mostly around the smaller handle end of the toy and the middle of the shaft. It wasn’t as good as this glass dildo from Lovehoney I also tested, which was practically clear, but compared to my Pyrex measuring jug and some of the toys tested by Dangerous Lilly, it certainly makes it look pretty great. So, as usual with Funzee, I am content with the quality of this product, and while I will continue to check it before every use and be very gentle with it, I do feel it is safe to use.

Product Description

Now that’s been addressed, let’s talk about the Funzze Glass Tentacle itself. Shaped similar to the letter S, the insertable end features a slight curve and very little taper, whilst the handle (which is far more tentacle-like) features a wide curve that almost fully wraps around, as well as a huge taper so that it ends in a thin point. A single row of raised “suckers” is then present on one side, although these are really more like small spikes. Being made of glass, the rest of this G-Spot dildo is then clear and smooth, but a spiral effect can be seen within. The “bubbles” that make up this internal design are green, and it is these that have the ability to glow-in-the-dark, another great visual aspect to this toy. Additionally, it’s also worth pointing out that this is a fairly small dildo, with a total length of 6.6″ / 16.8cm, an insertable length of 4.7″ / 11.9cm, and a maximum diameter of just 1.14″ / 2.9cm. Body-safe and waterproof, the Funzze Glass Tentacle is then also anal-safe.

Packaging

My order with Funzze for the Glass Tentacle was placed on the 19th of July and I received it on the 28th. As usual with this brand, the box was 100% discreet, with no mention of the sender or what was contained within. Another consistent aspect I love about Funzze is their packaging, and the Glass Tentacle was no different, coming in a simple cardboard box branded with just a removable slip of paper, for maximum reusability and discretion. Plus, being glass, the toy was also very securely packaged, with plenty of bubble wrap and soft pouches to keep it safe, and particular care put into protecting the curved handle. In addition, the toy also came with a small card detailing Funzze’s one year warranty and a gold branded storage bag that fits the Glass Tentacle perfectly, although since this is just made of a thin material that doesn’t offer any protection, I chose to keep one of the padded pouches that the toy arrived in as well to use in addition to the storage bag.

My Experience

Between the smooth glass material and the small girth of this toy, inserting the Funzze Glass Tentacle is easy. Plus, if it’s cold, this toy also works well for temperature play, allowing you to warm it up (or cool it down!) prior to play by running it under a tap or placing it in a bowl of water. Although even with all this, there are still those “suckers” to contend with. I find these not very noticeable during play, and whilst my initial impression of this toy was that these would be good for grinding (which was going to be my backup if I determined this toy was not safe for insertion), I find how hard they are combined with their pointed shape not all that comfortable up against my clitoris and vulva. Not to mention that they don’t feel anything like the suckers I enjoy on my other tentacle toys, a fact that isn’t helped when you consider that there is only a single row of them. This feeling then continues during insertion, as the broad head of the dildo does nothing to support the tentacle fantasy, and as the suckers scrape against my entrance, the whole experience is a little off. For most people, I don’t think any of this would be a problem, as whilst the suckers do make insertion a little uncomfortable, it is over very quickly. But as a tentacle enthusiast who loves the roleplay aspect to these toys, a tentacle this is not… at least as far as my vagina is concerned.

Once inside things improve considerably, as it’s very clear that the Funzze Glass Tentacle not only knows where my G-Spot is, but what to do with it. Stimulation is easy, as all I need to do is thrust lightly, with the curved head simply “hooking” on and really doing all of the work. This feels great, although I can’t help but think it would be even better if I could just add some pressure of my own onto it. Yet, frustratingly, due to the strange handle shape and those raised suckers, I am unable to achieve this for long, and whilst I can continue to try and force it, the amount of pressure it requires me to place on the glass toy’s most fragile area does not seem wise. Even without this though, using the Glass Tentacle is still very much a good time, and paired with a clitoral vibrator like the We-Vibe Touch X, I know I’m in for some very satisfying (and usually multiple!) orgasms.

Glow-In-The-Dark

I’ve also got to give a huge shout-out to the glow-in-the-dark aspect of the Funzze Glass Tentacle. This is my first glass glow-in-the-dark toy, so I wasn’t really sure what to expect, but usually with silicone you’ll want to first “charge” them under a lamp for at least 30 minutes before play. Yet the first time I placed this toy into a dark room, just off the cuff to see what it would be like, I was totally shocked at just how bright it was! One of the most vibrant and bright glow-in-the-dark toys I have tried, the Funzze Glass Tentacle requires no charge time whatsoever to provide its stunning glow. The green colour is also particularly great, as it really reinforces the tentacle theme and also makes it a perfect toy for the spooky season. Plus, because the glow is coming from those spiral bubbles, it adds a whole other element to it, allowing it to really stand out whilst also illuminating the rest of the dildo’s clear body, almost like there are glowflies caught within it.

Cleaning & Care

As the Funzze Glass Tentacle is waterproof, cleaning it is easy. To start, I’d recommend soaking it in some warm water, and then you’ll want to go over those suckers with a soft spare toothbrush and soap before rinsing. Leave it to air dry, and after this you can place it into its storage bag to keep clean, which can then be placed into one of the padded pouches it came with. Make sure to always be gentle with it, and prior to any use you’ll want to give it a quick inspection to ensure there are no potential issues, such as cracks or chips. As for lubricant, this toy is compatible with all types.

Final Thoughts

It’s been so long since I last used a glass toy that I didn’t even realise I had started to have reservations about them. But if anything was going to change my mind, it was a tentacle toy. Made of borosilicate glass, the Funzze Glass Tentacle is quite study even without being annealed as far as I can tell, and whilst I do practise plenty of caution when it comes to my sex toys, I’m glad to report I’ve had no issues in all the time I’ve been using it. And used it I have, with the G-Spot stimulation this little dildo gives me being practically addictive, making it hard to stop at just one orgasm during testing. Really the only downside to this toy is how little tentacle it actually brings to the table. But as I said, I imagine most people won’t really mind this, and even if Funzze had gone for the full fantasy and made it look like one of my Uncover Creations grinders, it still may not have really worked with the firm material. Finally, the last thing I should note is that this toy is also extremely budget-friendly, to the point of it actually being one of the cheapest sex toys I’ve ever reviewed. So, if you want to try a glass dildo, or just want fantastic G-Spot stimulation for cheap, this really is a great pick.

You can get the Glass Tentacle directly from Funzze for just $43 AUD / $29.99 USD!

Last updated: 30/9/24

Price at the time of writing: $43 AUD / $29.99 USD

This post was sponsored by Funzze, but as always, all opinions are my own. Affiliate links have been used in this post.

I’ve loved watching the rise of the independent fantasy maker over the last few years, but one downside to the trend is the high costs associated with these products. Now, I don’t mean to imply that these toys aren’t worth their prices, of course they are. The amount of time and effort that goes into creating unique designs and then hand-crafting them to ensure maximum appeal, pleasure and safety is huge, and that’s without even considering the cost of silicone, equipment, and all of the other fees and skill sets required to run any small business. Yet I am also aware that it has created a divide between those who can and those who cannot afford them, therefore making anyone looking for a cheaper option more susceptible to instead accepting, either knowingly or unknowingly, a toy made of unsafe materials as an alternative. So, when I saw Funzze had their own version of a fantasy dildo, and for less than $40 USD, I knew it was something I had to investigate further.

Product Description

I’m always talking about the paradox that is Funzze: low prices, high-quality. And their 9″ Fantasy Dildo is no different. But I have to admit, when I first requested this product to review (which was quite some time ago, and its listing has been updated a few times since then) I had an ulterior motive. Despite being repeatedly advertised as a beginner’s friendly toy, the 9″ Fantasy Dildo appears huge. I really thought there must be a mistake with the listing, and I wanted to prove it. It’s not just a problem with the online images either, my partner saw this toy for the first time yesterday and was shocked, asking me if I was okay. Yet it turns out that the 9″ Fantasy Dildo isn’t nearly as intimidating as it first seems, with its size being more in length than girth (7.5″ of the shaft is insertable). In fact, its widest point is only a slightly above average 1.55″, and even this only appears briefly before gradually tapering out. The thing that makes the biggest impact though to the 9″ Fantasy Dildo’s beginner’s friendly claim is just how soft it is, and to my surprise (since it is not listed as such anywhere) this dildo is actually dual-density. That means the toy features an incredibly squishy outer layer paired with a firm inner core, giving it a more realistic feeling. Plus, the first few inches of the toy (and the balls!) are made up entirely of the softer silicone, aiding insertion tremendously.

Of course, there is more to this toy than just its size and density. As expected due to its namesake, the Funzze 9″ Fantasy Dildo does avoid the typical realistic dildo design, although the overall shape of it is still quite phallic. This makes it a good entry-point for those new to fantasy or textured dildos, with it even having regular realistic testicles at the end of the shaft. What exactly the fantasy being depicted here though is left up to interpretation, which I think is a smart choice on Funzze’s part. Personally, I tend to jump between two very different options: a dragon, with the repeated ridges making up its scales, or a mechanical being, with the raised bumps running down the shaft and under the head reminding me of rivets. Whatever you desire, a realistic style head with foreskin is then present at the top, and at the other end you’ll find a suction cup. Finally, this toy is made of black body-safe silicone, allowing it to be waterproof, and its base means it is both anal-safe and harness compatible.

Packaging

My order with Funzze for the 9″ Fantasy Dildo was placed on the 19th of July and I received it on the 28th. As usual with this brand, the box was 100% discreet, with no mention of the sender or what was contained within. Another consistent aspect I love about Funzze is their packaging, with the 9″ Fantasy Dildo coming in a simple cardboard box branded with just a removable slip of paper, for maximum reusability and discretion. The toy then came with a small card detailing Funzze’s one year warranty, a gold branded storage bag that fits the 9″ Fantasy Dildo perfectly, and a small user manual. I definitely didn’t expect this last bit as typically dildos don’t come with instructions, so this small guide on how to care for your toy was a really nice added touch from Funzze.

My Experience

Despite all my worries relating to the size of this toy, inserting the Funzze 9″ Fantasy Dildo is actually somewhat easy thanks to its tapered shaft and that super squishy silicone tip. Really the most noticeable thing is just all that texture, as this is when all those ridges and small bumps really start to make themselves known. That being said, due to the smoothness and softness of the silicone, even though there is a lot going on texture-wise, I don’t find the sensation to be overwhelming, rather feeling like a gentle ribbing. And so once again I really do think this is an ideal toy for those who are looking to try some texture on their dildos at an approachable level. Plus, these ridges have the added effect of being able to stimulate my G-Spot a little as they glide past, and this is reinforced by the gradual size increase followed by the introduction of the firm core, which creates a satisfying stretching sensation. Being so long then allows me to bend the toy to better target key areas within my vagina for heightened stimulation, although the biggest advantage its length provides is definitely being able to use it for A-Spot stimulation. I find thrusting it then allows me to achieve some next level pleasure, especially when paired with a clitoral vibrator like the We-Vibe Touch X. As for the balls, initially I thought I wouldn’t be able to feel these as the toy’s length puts them just out of reach, but I found as I continued play that inserting the full length gets slowly easier, and this is aided by that soft head that avoids any of the usual discomfort I might feel inserting a toy so deeply, allowing me to instead enjoy the sensation of the testicles hitting against my vulva. Plus, whilst I don’t tend to make use of suction cups, I do have to give a shout-out to how well it worked as a handle for this toy, which I really appreciated.

Suction Cup

Speaking of suction cups, the one offered on the Funzze 9″ Fantasy Dildo is super strong, staying firmly stuck to whatever flat surface it is applied to. Plus, unlike the last Funzze suction cup dildo I tested, the Mini Realistic Dildo, this toy actually has the length to make use of it, being ideal for play attached to walls or floors. Its length can also be a downside, of course, adding extra weight and flexibility that the suction cup needs to then support, especially when compared to a much shorter toy like the Mini Realistic Dildo, but the trade off is definitely worth it in my opinion.

Cleaning & Care

As the Funzze 9″ Fantasy Dildo is 100% silicone and waterproof, cleaning it is easy. To start, I’d recommend soaking it in some warm water, and then you’ll want to go over it with a soft spare toothbrush and soap before rinsing. Leave it to air dry, and after this you can place it into its storage bag to keep clean, as otherwise it will attract dust and hair. Because it is textured, you may also want to sterilise it every now and then, or when switching the toy between orifices or partners, and whilst Funzze does not mention a recommended method, you should be able to follow my suggestions here. Finally, only use water-based lubricants with this product, as other kinds may damage the toy’s material.

Final Thoughts

I’ve been wanting to try the Funzze 9″ Fantasy Dildo for what feels like forever, unsure if it could really be true. A silicone fantasy toy for under $40 USD? A 9″ dildo aimed at beginners? I was sceptical right up until the last moment. But none of that compared to my surprise when I felt it in my hands for the first time and realised it was dual-density! Typically reserved for premium toys (although it has slowly become more common thankfully), the soft squishy silicone outer layer finally made me understand why this toy was being advertised for beginners, making it feel smaller than it actually is. This, however, only made the price tag more confusing, but I suppose that is the typical nature of Funzze’s paradox! Either way, this toy was a blast to use, and it really is such a fantastic option for those looking for a way to introduce some unrealistic texture into their play whilst still keeping that familiar phallic shape, or as a cheaper alternative to other fantasy toys on the market. Not to mention how great it would be for anyone like me who prefers a manageable, yet still filling, girth when it comes to penetration, whether you are a beginner or an experienced toy user!

You can get the 9″ Fantasy Dildo directly from Funzze for just $58 AUD / $37.99 USD!

Last updated: 6/11/24

Price at the time of writing: $58 AUD / $37.99 USD

This post was sponsored by Funzze, but as always, all opinions are my own.

The last few years my collection of metal dildos has seen a rapid expansion, and I’m 100% here for it. Previously consisting of just my Njoy Pure Wand, I now have ample choice when it comes to playing with this unique type of toy. And as much as I love silicone, metal has become something of a new favourite. The reliable smoothness, as opposed to never knowing quite what you’re going to get with a silicone dildo, is frankly refreshing, especially for someone who isn’t always the biggest fan of some silicone’s level of tack. Plus, you haven’t really lived until you’ve warmed yourself up from the inside with a pre-heated metal dildo on a cold day. The big downside here is, of course, the price, but thanks to white-label retailers like Funzze, even that’s becoming a thing of the past. Despite being initially cautious about their Pure Wand dupe, I ended up loving it so much it earned fifth place in my Top 10 Sex Toys of 2023. So, when they recently suggested I try their latest metal creation, the Funzze Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo, I was all in.

Product Description

Whilst the Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo took clear inspiration from the sex toy icon that is the Njoy Pure Wand, the Funzze Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo stands alone. It may not be the most original design like the Njoy Disco was, but at the very least I’m unaware of another dildo that looks the same, with it being more like a cross between the Njoy Eleven and Njoy Fun Wand.

It is double ended, although instead of the Pure Wand’s signature curved C-shape, the Beaded Dildo uses a subtle S-shape, with the two ends going in the opposite directions. One side, the shorter of the two, is then fairly smooth, with just a tapered bulb at the very end, whilst the other side gives the toy its namesake: it features four tapered bulbs that offer a beaded effect.

Another important point of difference is that whilst the Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo and Pure Wand both use almost perfect spheres at their ends, the Beaded Dildo instead uses more of a pointed egg-like shape. Plus, the girth stays consistent across both ends, with the diameter remaining around the 2.5cm / 1″ mark throughout its 21.6cm / 8.5″ length. Weighing in at 675g, the Beaded Dildo is then quite heavy thanks to its 304 stainless steel, and while Funzze do advertise it for P-Spot play, I would caution readers to avoid using this toy anally.

Packaging

My order with Funzze for the Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo was placed on the 4th of December and it arrived on the 15th. The package was then 100% discreet, with no mention of the contents or sender.

As for the toy itself, this arrived in Funzze’s usual plain cardboard box, which features a pink and black security strip with the brand logo on it (this is removable if you’d rather keep the box discreet for storage). Inside this I then found the Beaded Dildo bubble-wrapped safely (a cute extra was that the “bubbles” were heart-shaped, how sweet!), alongside a gold branded storage bag, an instruction manual, and a small guide that has details on Funzze’s one year warranty.

My Experience

Between the smooth material, the tapered heads at both ends and the slim shaft, inserting the Funzze Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo is easy. Although I do highly recommend heating it in some hot water first, especially if it’s a cold day.

In testing it out, I automatically gravitated to the smoother end, as despite my excitement for the toy I haven’t had the best time in the past with these sorts of hard beaded designs. So, you can imagine my disappointment when I found this more promising end to be a complete dud. Not curved enough to do anything but brush past my G-Spot, trying to get there manually doesn’t make much of a difference either as the S-shape means I just end up pushing the beaded end of the toy into my mattress. And without enough girth or length to make thrusting or plugging pleasurable, there’s little point to use, especially when I have so many other G-Spot dildos that can do a far better job. Plus, the beaded end makes for an uncomfortable handle, whilst the shape and weight of the toy means that if I’m not constantly holding onto it, it’ll simply fall out of me.

Just when I thought all hope was lost, I tried the beaded end. And that’s is when I truly understood the toy’s namesake. Despite having a similar level of curve, this end of the toy is able to find my G-Spot with relative ease, over and over again. Because every time those beads rub their way past, it’s like a symphony of pleasure. Paired with a soft clitoral vibe, such as the We-Vibe Touch X, using the Beaded Dildo is then an extremely enjoyable experience, and one that I dare say I tend to prefer over Njoy’s latest release. Thrusting is where it shines in particular, as the beads are able to stimulate my G-Spot repeatedly. Of course, this is nothing compared to the sensations the Pure Wand evokes for only a fraction of the effort, but it is also different enough to stand on its own and be enjoyed in its own regard.

Cleaning & Care

Being waterproof and metal, caring for the Funzze Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo is easy. After use, simply wash it with warm soapy water and rinse. To sterilise it, which should be done before switching between partners or from vaginal to anal play, you can then boil it for one minute, submerge it in a 10% bleach solution, or pop it in the top rack of the dishwasher and run it through a full cycle. Later, store it in its bag or packaging for safe keeping, although another advantage of stainless steel is that it won’t attract lint or dust between uses.

Final Thoughts

There’s a reason why I never got another Njoy toy after loving the Pure Wand so much. Because, other than the recently released Disco, I have zero interest in the rest of their vaginal range. After all, they only sell two other dildos, neither seem like they would suit my body (although maybe I should reconsider the Fun Wand now), and they are too expensive for me to take a risk on. But it has always felt a little disappointing to enjoy metal so much yet own so little of it. Now, finally, thanks to Funzze, I can start to enjoy more of what this exciting material has to offer, and without breaking the bank.

The Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo is unlike any other dildo I’ve tried, and while the smooth end fell short, the beaded side more than made up for it. It not only stimulated my G-Spot, but it did it x4, creating an unstoppable force when paired with my We-Vibe Touch X. Yes, it wasn’t as good as the Pure Wand or the Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo. And yes, it is more tiring on the wrists due to all that weight without the curve to balance it out. But I still had a great time with it, and for anyone else like me who’s always wanted more out of metal dildos, this is not only exactly that, but at great value too.

You can get the Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo directly from Funzze for just $109 AUD / $69.99 USD!

Last updated: 23/5/25

Price at the time of writing: $109 AUD / $69.99 USD

This post was sponsored by Funzze, but as always, all opinions are my own. Affiliate links have been used in this post.

Last week we celebrated Magic Wand Day. How many other sex toys have holidays dedicated just to them? I can’t think of any, but then again no other toy really compares. It’s been 56 years now since the trademark application for the original Magic Wand was approved and an icon was born. I myself got my first Magic Wand, the Rechargeable, on my 20th birthday, and as my thirties quickly approach, there is no doubt that this is my most used sex toy of all time. It also goes to show the quality that’s put into these things, as despite using it at least once a week for the past nine years, I’ve never had so much as the slightest issue. Its more recent versions, the Magic Wand Plus and Mini, have been similarly beloved, although I was unsure what could possibly be next on the horizon, foolishly thinking that the Mini was surely as small as it gets. Well, Vibratex have certainly proved me wrong, with the release of the Magic Wand Micro!

The Sender

Before we get into it, I wanted to first take a moment to introduce Babeland, who were kind enough to send me the Magic Wand Micro for this review. It may be my first time working with them, but I am certainly familiar with the US-based retailer, whose Seattle, Brooklyn, and New York City bricks-and-mortar locations have long been a dream of mine to visit. First opening in 1993 in response to a lack of women-friendly sex shops in the area, Babeland has long been focused on providing a safe, inclusive and shame-free environment in which to browse high-quality sex toys. They have been at the forefront of much of the positive change in this industry, and regularly hold events to help further the sexual education of their communities. Their online store has a huge range of products, including big name brands such as Doxy, Dame, and Hot Octopuss, and free worldwide shipping is available on orders over $85 USD. Plus, whilst they have frequent sales, my discount code GRACE10 can be added at checkout to take a further 10% off your order.

Product Description

If you thought the Magic Wand Mini was small, prepare yourself for the Magic Wand Micro. This product barely looks like a real sex toy, instead resembling the kind of novelty keyring wand massagers you see in sex stores. Yet not only is it real, but it has some pretty bold marketing copy too, with the Babeland website stating, “Crazy powerful, this four-function, three-speed massager is pure Magic Wand® vibes” and “the Micro packs a punch with its high-capacity motor hitting speeds of up to 6,500 RPM of insanely deep vibrations (yes, that’s just as much as the full-size)”. Now, if my interest wasn’t already piqued from the iconic brand name, it certainly was after I read that. Outside of this, the Magic Wand Micro is much of what you’d expect from a sized down version of this legendary toy. The design is almost exactly the same as the Magic Wand’s other variations (excluding the Original), with a white plastic handle, followed by a metal ring, a flexible thin blue neck, and a large white silicone head that ends in a flat-top. The only real exception is the buttons, since there are only two, rather than the usual three. Above this you’ll then find the Magic Wand logo, and at the very end of the toy is a hole for the charging cord. Plus, one addition, which is more fun than functional, is that next to this charging hole is an area for you to connect the Micro’s included light blue wrist strap. I love this touch and it really adds a sense of nostalgia for me, taking me back to the days of the Nintendo DS and connecting all sorts of charms to it. As for some actual stats, this toy measures in at just 11.5cm / 4.5″ in length, and another advantage to it is the huge reduction in weight, at just 85 gm / 3 oz. Finally, as with the rest of Vibratex’s Magic Wand line, the Micro is neither waterproof nor splashproof, but it is body-safe and USB rechargeable.

Packaging

My order for the Magic Wand Micro was placed with Babeland on the 18th of March and it arrived on the 8th of April. The package for the toy was then very much in the same vein as previous iterations of this iconic product, just smaller. A study cardboard box featuring a blue and orange colour scheme, it includes a picture of the toy alongside information on what it can do (with a particular mention of its “legendary power”). Inside, you’ll then find the Micro, as well as a charging cord, instruction manual, and its wrist strap. The instructions in particular bring me back to my other Vibratex products, as the bulky booklet is filled with safety warnings, very unusual for a sex toy these days, but completely typical of a Magic Wand. Lastly, the Magic Wand Micro also comes with a one year warranty, and in a welcome twist, it is now valid in Australia and New Zealand, in addition to its usual region of North America. Of course this still excludes many regions of the world, which is a shame, but as an Australian I’m pretty pleased!

Charging

Charging the Magic Wand Micro is easy since it is rechargeable, and for the first time I don’t need an adaptor, as it uses a USB! Although I will note that whilst the product makes a big point about it being USB-C rechargeable (it’s one of the main features presented on the box and is mentioned multiple times on the Babeland website), the USB-C port is on the toy, whilst the other end that’ll you’ll need to actually plug into something you own is just a regular USB cable. This is an advantage power wise and due to the assumption that you can use any male USB-C cable to charge the Micro, but the way it is worded makes it sound like you’ll need access to a female USB-C in order to charge the toy, which is not the case. Charging should then take around three hours, which will then give you an estimated 1.5 hours of use (these values are from the product’s manual, which are strangely different to those mentioned at Babeland), making this the weakest battery of all the Magic Wands. Plus, unlike the Rechargeable, it cannot be plugged-in during use in the event you run out of battery, and the cord is also rather small (although still a very typical size for other vibrators). When charging a red light will appear to indicate this, and it will change to green once the battery is full. Additionally, this light will also flash red to indicate that the toy is low on battery and needs to be charged.

Controls

The controls were one of my favourite aspects of the Magic Wand’s last two iterations, as they saw the complete removal of patterns from the massager, and instead offered greater control of the product’s speeds. Unfortunately, though, this has not followed over to the Micro, which sees the return of patterns. In fact, the controls on the Micro are easily one of the biggest differences between it and the other Magic Wands, and it seems like Vibratex have instead taken inspiration from small clitoral vibrators, which makes a lot of sense considering that is essentially what this toy is, despite its wand-like appearance. Of the two buttons, one is simply a power button, working to turn the toy on and off, whilst the other controls the mode, with three steady speeds and four patterns on offer. Also worth noting is that there is only one light on the Micro, unlike the other Magic Wands where a number of lights will turn on in relation to the toy’s speed or mode, so you’ll need to mentally keep track of where you are. Overall, whilst I prefer the controls on the other massagers, I can understand the need to simplify things on this smaller version, and that there is an expectation of patterns on clitoral vibrators. Additionally, the Micro will automatically turn off after 20 minutes to protect itself from overheating.

First Impressions

Something unique that Vibratex do, which I can’t recall having seen from other brands, is promote their toy’s RPM (revolutions per minute) as if it is the measure of how powerful they are. But under that logic, it means that the Magic Wand Micro is the strongest Magic Wand there is, with a RPM of 6500, as opposed to the Rechargeable’s and Plus’ 6300, and Mini’s and Original’s 6000. So, for the first time, I started to question whether we should really be paying attention to this value. After all, it makes sense that the Micro has a higher RPM, since its smaller motor has a shorter distance to travel, allowing it to achieve more revolutions. Turning it on for the first time, I have to say I am certainly impressed by the Micro’s power levels, which are certainly not as “novelty” as it looks. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the vibrations are on par with the Magic Wand Mini’s. But compared to the Magic Wand Rechargeable and Plus? There is no competition, even at their lowest speeds. So, it seems like the RPM is debunked here once and for all, at least when judging widely different sized toys. As for the noise level, this is thankfully low despite the fast motor, making it the quietest of my Magic Wands and a very quiet toy in general, providing a good option for those that need to be discreet.

My Experience

Whilst the Magic Wand Mini can never truly compete with the Magic Wand Rechargeable or Plus, it is great in a pinch, giving me many of the same sensations. And it was this kind of situation where I was hoping the Micro might fit into my life, seeming particularly perfect for travel. But I have to admit, that even though the Mini and Micro’s vibrations seem the same to the rest of my body, placing the two different wands on my clitoris is a different story. A big part of this is likely related to the difference in size, as one of the main reasons I enjoy the Magic Wand so much is due to its broad head. The soft silicone paired with a wide flat area is unlike most other wand massagers, and envelops my vulva in a way that allows the vibrations to penetrate far deeper than the average toy. Yet even though the head of the Micro is a perfect replica, being so much smaller means it is unable to match the stimulation, providing vibrations that are far more surface level. Plus, achieving the same level of pressure on my clitoris is harder with the smaller toy, and as the Micro’s neck is more flexible than usual, I find myself concerned about breaking it when trying to replicate this. This is not to say that the Micro is a bad toy, as I have actually been very surprised at just how pleasurable it is, and I’ve got to commend the manufacturer for managing to maintain its iconic rumbliness, when it could have so easily become buzzy instead. During use it is even able to conjure some of the same sensations I get from my Magic Wand Rechargeable, and because of this I find orgasm with it comes easily. The biggest downside really is that when climax does arrive, I’m afraid it is quite unsatisfying, which is a surprise and a disappointment coming off of what I always think has been an enjoyable session. Yet this is likely because of how much my body has grown used to the Rechargeable, and I’m almost certain that someone who isn’t so accustomed to this toy would have a far better experience.

In regards to the Micro’s strap, whilst I love the added visual touch that it adds, I have found it to be a nuisance during use, ultimately removing it. This is because if I wear it around my wrist, it is then too short for me to hold the toy and comfortably control it. But if I don’t wear it, it hangs down and gets in the way. The only alternative is to wear it over my fingers, but not my thumb, so that it is both secure and comfortable. Yet remembering to do this is a bit of a hassle for no benefit, so unless you actually care about the visuals, there isn’t much point in bothering with it.

Cleaning & Care

Whilst some aspects of the Magic Wand Micro can make it easy to forget this is supposed to be a wand massager, one thing that immediately brings it back is the fact that this toy is not waterproof whatsoever. Considering its small size, and the fact that it is 2024, this seems a bit silly. But I’m guessing that it is a defect in the actual design of the toy, and that Vibratex has chosen to keep its iconic look over adding in any kind of water protection. Even with this though, cleaning it is easy, as since it is an external toy that has a very specific area of use (and one that I personally prefer to use through underwear), it doesn’t really get too messy. With this in mind, you’ll simply need to carefully wipe it down with some soap and water after use, or just spray it with some toy cleaner, before drying. You can then store it however you want, since it does not attract dust. Additionally, make sure to not use silicone-based lubricant with this product, as it may react badly to the silicone it is made of, but if you do then first perform a spot test.

Final Thoughts

Of course the Magic Wand Micro is not as strong as its predecessors. Yet due to its marketing, and some out-of-context RPM numbers, it feels like I’m stating something unexpected and negative. Whilst the truth is that I’ve actually been incredibly impressed with this little massager, which is truly no novelty. Indeed, what was actually surprising were the vibrations that matched those of the Magic Wand Mini, despite it being more than double its size. And because of this, I found the Micro very pleasurable to use, with orgasms coming quickly. Unfortunately, it was simply the quality of those orgasms that was lacking, and it is for this reason that I sadly cannot see myself continuing to use the Micro, even in scenarios where I am unable to use my other Magic Wands. Because when I consider these sorts of situations, my mind automatically goes to other small vibrators, such as the We-Vibe Touch X or Tango X, who have owned this territory for a long time and thus are far better suited to it than the Micro. And that is my biggest concern, because for a toy that isn’t quite a massager, yet isn’t quite a clitoral vibrator either, I’m left wondering where the Micro fits. Regardless, I still believe that this toy would be far more enjoyable to someone who isn’t as experienced as I am with a full-sized Magic Wand, and considering this and its price, the Micro makes for a great place to start if you are at all interested in massagers. Plus, on that note, this toy is also cheaper than most clitoral vibrators, including the ones I just mentioned. So, even though there’s always going to be better options out there for more, for what it is and what it costs, the Micro is still absolutely a welcome addition to the Magic Wand family.

You can get the Magic Wand Micro from Babeland for just $98 AUD / $64.95 USD!

Last updated: 26/5/24

Price at the time of writing: $98 AUD / $64.95 USD

This post was sponsored by Babeland, but as always, all opinions are my own.