As an Australian I don’t tend to make as big as a deal here about the current spooky season as some of my overseas friends, but growing up in Britain means that Halloween is still very much a holiday that holds a dear place in my heart. Still, it’s because of this, and my usual affinity for cute rather than horror toys, that it’s not often you’ll find me participating in any spooktober-style reviews. So when Lovehoney recently reached out to me about their new October releases, my eyes were immediately drawn to the adorable-looking Glow-in-the-Dark Dildo far more than any of their Halloween inspired products. Little did I know however, that when the lights are turned off this dildo become possibly the most spooky of them all! Thus, for the very first time, here I am with a extra special Halloween review!

The box for the Lovehoney Glow-in-the-Dark Dildo likens it to a glow stick, and I think this is a very accurate description. With an inner core made up of pink luminous silicone surrounded by an outer layer of translucent silicone, Lovehoney have matched the two mediums perfectly to create a dildo that genuinely looks like it has a glow stick stuck inside of it. Rather than just appearing like any other glow-in-the-dark toy when the lights are turned off however, the dual silicone then works to brilliant effect as the glowing core shines through its outer layer, illuminating it from the inside to create a ghostly visage. Created using a pouring technique typically reserved for dual-density toys, this dildo is sadly not one of them, as it uses the same density for both of its layers. Still, having the outer layer use translucent silicone means that it provides a wonderful visual example of what this popular method looks like (which is great for me since it can often be difficult to describe to people), while creating an awesome effect at the same time. On that note, this is also my very first toy that uses translucent silicone, as while this blend has been getting more popular for dildos in recent years, it is still quite uncommon. The Lovehoney Glow-in-the-Dark Dildo is then somewhat squishy but still with a fair amount of give, while its surface is beautifully smooth with a matte finish. Then, despite its unusual appearance, this toy is actually based on a realistic penis, featuring a pronounced head, raised veins and two smooth testicles. With an insertable length of 5.5 inches and a maximum diameter of 1.5 inches, which occurs just under the head, it is also very well sized and can be used without too much warming up. In addition, it also has a suction cup, which allows for it to be harness compatible and anal safe, and comes in blue, as well as the pink I have.

My order for the Glow-in-the-Dark Dildo was placed with Lovehoney on the 24th of September and I received it on the 4th of October. As usual it was completely discreet, with no mention of the company that sent it or the contents. The product packaging itself is then Lovehoney’s usual home-brand style, a simple white box featuring pictures and information on the toy alongside the company branding. Opening it up I then found the toy by itself and wrapped in a sealed plastic bag. Overall I am happy with all of this, since for its low price tag I wasn’t expecting anything further, plus it’s low waste. In addition this toy is also covered by Lovehoney’s 1-year product guarantee, as well as their 60 day Sex Toy Happiness Promise.

Just like with my only other glow-in-the-dark toy, the Uberrime Dr. Manhattan, this toy needs to “charge” under a bright light prior to using it in the dark for greatest effect. Lovehoney only recommend doing this for “a minute”, however I find that the longer you leave it the brighter it becomes and the longer it lasts, and so I typically like to charge mine under a lamp for at least 30 minutes. To show you what I mean I took some photos of the toy at various intervals after leaving it directly under a light for 1 minute and again for 30 minutes, and I think it demonstrates my point perfectly. Anyway, once the Lovehoney Glow-in-the-Dark Dildo is fully charged and the lights are off, I seriously just can’t get over how immensely cool it looks. Usually glow-in-the-dark anything just gives you the luminous outline of that item, which is frankly what I expected with this as well, but by having it be the core that’s glowing whilst it illuminates the clear silicone around it creates a totally different and unique effect. Firstly, I find that the hot pink colour is somewhat lost, so for anyone who is concerned by the lack of colour options for this product, it really doesn’t matter when it comes to using it in the dark. Instead it just gives off more of a whitish glow, and this leans more towards shades of purple than anything else. Then, while the core is obviously brightest area, the glow permeates the rest of the silicone to create an almost spectral phallic shape that radiates light so intensely that it illuminates its surroundings. Due to all of this it’s probably now easy to understand why I’ve decided to make this a Halloween themed review, because this thing really does look like a ghost dick!

Despite its size I do find I can insert the Lovehoney Glow-in-the-Dark Dildo without warming up, however if I want to make insertion even easier then I find using the Funkit Toys NoFrillDo R first works a treat. Thrusting it in then feels great (and looks even better if you’re in the dark), and while its straight shaft shoots right past my G-Spot, I do find its length can make its way to my A-Spot. Still, with a firmer density than what I typically use, the Glow-in-the-Dark Dildo isn’t the best for this sort of stimulation, as I find it to be more on the pokey than pleasurable side of things. Instead, my favourite way to use this toy has been for short thrusts, and when paired with a clitoral vibrator, such as the Dame Kip, this feels amazing. Another aspect about this toy that I found interesting is how to go about holding it, as with a prominent suction cup knowing where to place your hand is something that comes with experience, and I still don’t think I’ve quite mastered it. The first time I used it I held my hand directly over the cup, but I quickly found that it would stick to my palm, so much so that I could stop holding the toy altogether and just thrust it solely my moving my hand back and forth! This was something I’ve never experienced with a toy before and while very cool, its novelty quickly wears off when it begins to detach every time you go too quickly. Since then I’ve been trying to avoid holding it in this way, usually opting for either gripping onto the suction cup without resting my palm directly over it or holding the ballsack, but I’ve yet to find a comfortable position and so using this toy quickly leaves me with a sore arm and wrist, which often results in my sessions with it being cut short.

As you can probably guess, the suction cup on the Lovehoney Glow-in-the-Dark Dildo has to be one of the best I have ever tried. Sticking perfectly to any smooth surface (and even not-so-smooth surfaces for a short time, like the palm of my hand!), I am not able to remove it regardless of the amount of force I apply. Even when I am actually intending to remove it I can’t unless I actually peel the cup off to release the pressure. Needless to say, this toy is perfect for those who like to incorporate suction cups into their play.

Since the Lovehoney Glow-in-the-Dark Dildo is silicone and waterproof, cleaning it is easy. Just wash it in some warm soapy water before rinsing it and leaving it to air dry. After this I’d recommend storing it in a zip-lock bag to keep it clean between uses, as it attracts a fair amount of dust. In addition to this I’d also recommend sterilising the toy every few uses or when switching between partners or orifices. Lastly, make sure to only use water-based lubricants with this product, as others may have negative effects on the silicone.

As one of the cheapest silicone dildos I have ever reviewed, the Lovehoney Glow-in-the-Dark Dildo didn’t have to do much to win me over, but that didn’t stop it from trying. I was totally unprepared for how silky soft the surface of it would be or how brilliant the pink core would look with its coating of translucent silicone, and don’t even get me started on how it just completely transforms in the dark, with its phantasmal glow that makes me feel like I’m having an X-rated paranormal experience. Using it is then just as spooktastic, and I don’t think I’ll ever quite get over the novelty of watching its glowing shape disappear and reappear from inside of me. The only thing I can really fault this toy on was how awkward it was to hold, which consistently left me with a sore arm after use, however considering the reason for this was because the suction cup was so strong it would attach to my hand during use, maybe it’s more of a positive. After all, if you’re planning on only using this toy with the suction cup then you won’t be running into this issue anyway, and it pretty much tells you all you need to know about how effective it is. Overall I would absolutely recommend this product to those looking for a cheaper realistic dildo, especially if you prefer using toys with a suction cup, and if you’re looking to get spooky as well then that’s just an added bonus!

You can get the Lovehoney Glow-in-the-Dark Dildo for just $49.95 AUD at Lovehoney Australia or $29.99 USD at Lovehoney US, plus use my code HONEYX10 to get 10% OFF your total order!

I received this product in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. Affiliate links have been used in this post.

If you follow me on social media then you’ll know that I am currently in the midst of a festive collaboration with Lovehoney! Titled the 12 Days of Christmas, it’s something we’ve been working on quietly for the last few months, and I’ve been so excited to finally be able to share it with all of you! Basically we put our sex toy expertise together to come up with a list of twelve items from their store that we thought would make the ultimate gifts this holiday season, and now it’s December I’ve been slowly revealing a new one each day over at my Twitter and Instagram in the lead-up to Christmas. So far we’ve looked at the We-Vibe X Lovehoney Remote Control Couples Vibrator for Day 1, the Lovehoney Desire App Controlled Love Egg for Day 2, and the Lovehoney Positions of the Week book for Day 3. But for Day 4 I wanted to do something a little different, and so I’ve been working on a review of today’s item, the Lovehoney Classic Metallic Wand, in secret. Surprise!

Product Description

The Lovehoney Classic Metallic Wand is a new and limited edition version of their popular Classic Wand. Now, I’ve been seeing the Classic around for years and have always wondered whether it was actually any good, as at only $90 AUD it’s pretty damn cheap! But after trying out their smaller and rechargeable Mini versions recently (I actually have two, the OG and another limited edition pink glitter version) and being quite impressed, I knew I had to get my hands on this larger plug-in style. Overall it is a very simple and classic massager as its name suggests, which to some may sound like a bad thing, but to me sounds like heaven. I really feel like wands are the one toy that don’t need a bunch of fancy features (except maybe the We-Vibe Wand’s glorious Smart Silence), and it’s one of the reasons why the minimalistic Magic Wand Rechargeable is my favourite toy of all time. It’s due to this that the Classic Metallic Wand immediately started scoring points with me by having nothing but a scroll wheel for controls, which is a feature I haven’t seen in a sex toy since I was technically too young to buy them! As for its limited edition nature, the only difference between this and the original Classic is the visuals, with its sexy black silicone head (which is very firm) and controls, and beautifully shiny pink and purple gradient body, which in my opinion is well worth any extra costs when compared to its quite basic-looking counterpart. On the back are then some small holes, presumably to let air out as the toy can get quite hot, and as I mentioned before this toy is a plug-in style wand, which means it must be connected to a power-point during use and thus is not waterproof.

Packaging

My order for the Lovehoney Classic Metallic Wand was placed with Lovehoney on the 12th of November and I promptly received it on the 20th. As usual the shipping box was completely discreet, with no mention of the company that sent it or the contents. The box for the toy itself was then exactly as I expected, being one of the simple yet tasteful Lovehoney branded boxes that I have received countless items in over the years. One thing that did wow me though is that they have gone the extra mile and printed a few of the elements on the front of the box with a glossy overlay, most notably the gradient metallic area on the toy’s photo, which really adds to the feel that you’re getting something special. Other than this the packaging just features a few pieces of information on the toy and brand, as well as a “how to use” section that doubles as the product’s instruction manual. Opening up the box you’ll then find the toy itself resting safely in plastic, alongside a small leaflet with some safety instructions on it. Overall I really like this packaging as it suits the cost of the product, and being so minimal also makes it environmentally friendly.

Charging

Being a mains-powered wand, the Lovehoney Classic Metallic Wand must be plugged into a power-point at all times during use. This is fairly easy with its long 1.8 meter cord though, giving you plenty of room to move around with it if you wish. Plus, since I got this from Lovehoney Australia, it does come with an AU plug despite being designed in the UK, which is super handy.

Controls

Rather than using buttons like pretty much every other sex toy, the Lovehoney Classic Metallic Wand has a scroll wheel (similar to what you’d find on a computer mouse) for controlling its speeds, and I am 100% here for it! One of my first ever sex toys was the legendary Fairy Wand, and even though I’d probably laugh at its vibrations these days I loved the crap out of that toy, so much so that it gave me the confidence to later upgrade to the far more expensive Magic Wand Rechargeable. Anyway, my point is that the Fairy Wand used a scroll wheel, and so now getting to test out the same sort of design on the Lovehoney Classic all these years later is leaving me full of nostalgia and wondering why more companies don’t use this handy little wheel? After all, rather than trying to remember what button does what, worrying about accidentally turning on something you don’t want, or getting a sore arm from pressing those that prefer it on the firm-side, you just get to spin the wheel back and forth, with the vibrations rising and falling as you do so. When you first start to spin the wheel on the Classic Metallic Wand you’ll feel a little bit of pressure and then a click, which is what initially turns the vibrator on (you’ll want to spin it away from the head to increase the vibrations, as is noted with the little OFF and ON signs next to the wheel). After this you can then just keep scrolling till what feels like 360 degrees, and during this the toy will slowly ramp up in vibration intensity. Lovehoney don’t actually state how many speeds the massager has, which is sensible since its quite gradual, but if I was going to suggest an amount then I would say it has around 12.

First Impressions

Considering wand massagers are generally the most expensive type of sex toy, with the models that I am use to testing usually going for around $200 to $300, I had some serious concerns about whether the Lovehoney Classic would be able to compete considering it only costs a staggering $90! But instead I have found myself completely taken aback, because this is a seriously powerful vibrator!! While it still doesn’t quite compare to the Magic Wand Rechargeable, I wouldn’t say it’s far off, and I would even go so far as to say that it’s more powerful than the recent We-Vibe Wand. What’s more, it’s actually quite rumbly too, which immediately told me that I was going to get along well with it. One downside though is the noise level, which is quite high even for a wand massager, and it also has a bit of a different sound than a regular vibrator, one that’s more along the lines of a food processor or blender mixed with a bit of a rattly noise. As such I definitely wouldn’t recommend using this if privacy is important to you, unless you want to use the weird noise to your advantage and tell your roommates that it’s something else.

My Experience

I tend to have a bit of an issue when I test wand vibrators, because I am just so use to the way that the Magic Wand Rechargeable feels that, regardless of whether something is good or not, I have trouble getting off. So I don’t know whether it’s because my expectations were so low for this toy, but I have absolutely loved every minute of testing the Lovehoney Classic Metallic Wand, and have experienced none of my usual issues. From the easy controls to the powerful vibrations, I have found this massager a pleasure to use, and it has been giving me some truly stellar orgasms. I am a big lover of edging in particular, and for most toys (including the Magic Wand Rechargeable) this means constantly turning the toy off and on again as I increase and decrease the power repeatedly. But with the Classic all I need to do is move the wheel up and down, and it has been a tremendous advantage. Plus, I’ve found it to be comfortable to hold and the firm yet bendable head has made putting pressure on just the right spots a breeze. Even the cord, which is usually an element I hate on toys, hasn’t bothered me, as I’ve just left it plugged in next to my bed throughout testing. The only flaw I can offer is that the toy does get a little hot and smelly during use in the way that kitchen appliances sometimes do, but it hasn’t affected me personally.

Cleaning & Care

As with most wand massagers the Lovehoney Classic Metallic Wand is not waterproof for cleaning. Thankfully though the majority of my use has occurred over my underwear or pyjama pants since the vibrations are strong enough to easily transfer through. But on the rare occasion that I do use this toy without a barrier, I just give its head a little wash with some soap and water (being careful to not let the water go on anything but the silicone), and then dry it. Since it does not attract dust you can then store it however you want, my recommendation being within arm’s reach of your bed. In addition, make sure to not use silicone-based lubricant with this product, as it may react badly to the silicone it is made of, but if you do then first perform a spot test.

Final Thoughts

I don’t remember the last time I’ve been so genuinely surprised by a review product. Don’t get me wrong, I thought the Lovehoney Classic Metallic Wand would be good, but considering its price tag I thought it would just be the alright kind of good. The sort of product you tell people to buy so they can try a certain type of sex toy before upgrading to the better product. But instead my entire experience with it has been the WOW kind of good. Maybe I’ve just finally lost it, but I actually think I would be okay with using this if anything ever happened to my Magic Wand Rechargeable, god forbid. While the immense power and satisfyingly rotatable yet firm silicone head are definitely factors in my love for this toy, I think the biggest thing that really did it for me was the scroll wheel controls. It just made everything about the Classic Metallic Wand easy and simple, and after some of the more advanced wands that I have tried lately it was nice to not need to check the instructions every time I wanted to do something. While this limited edition colour won’t be around forever, the Classic certainly will be (or so I hope), and if I know Lovehoney they’ll be releasing even more special editions soon! But regardless of what it looks like, I would wholeheartedly recommend this toy to anyone looking to get a wand vibrator, and it really goes to show that you don’t need to spend the big bucks to get something good!

You can get the Lovehoney Classic Wand for just $89.95 AUD at Lovehoney Australia or $69.99 USD at Lovehoney US, plus use my code HONEYX10 to get 10% OFF your total order!

I received this product in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. Affiliate links have been used in this post.

As a sex toy reviewer I feel like I’m always looking at new releases and trying to discover that next big thing, but if we were going to talk about products that have stood the test of time to be well loved years after their launch, then I’d be remiss to not mention Lovehoney’s hugely popular Greedy Girl from their Fifty Shades of Grey line. The UK retailer’s collaboration with the best-selling book series is one of their most notable collections, but no product from it has ever quite come close to the cult-status that this classic black rabbit has acquired. For years now I’ve watched it consistently rank as one of Lovehoney’s best selling products, and to be perfectly honest I always just assumed it was because of the FSOG craze, and nothing more. But with the film adaptations over, and the books celebrating their 10th year anniversary, the fad may be gone but the Greedy Girl’s sales have shown no signs of slowing down. So today, with the help of JOUJOU, I think it is finally time to see what all the fuss is about!

Product Description

The Lovehoney Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl is about as classic a rabbit vibrator as you can get. A long straight shaft with a bulbous curved head at the end is intended to massage your G-Spot, whilst a smaller arm shaped like a rabbit (complete with two ears) is featured further down for clitoral stimulation. The biggest thing that stood out to me when I first received it however, and which I absolutely did not expect, was just how large this thing is! With an insertable length of 14cm / 5.5 inches and a maximum diameter of 3.8cm / 1.5 inches, the Greedy Girl is much larger than the regular vibrator, and at first glance I wasn’t even sure if I would be able to use it! Plus, with a prominent handle that tapers out into a stand, making the full length 25cm / 10 inches, it appears much larger than it really is, easily towering over all of my other vibrators (this is also because it’s the only one that can stand up by itself) and even a few of my larger dildos too. On the bottom of the stand you’ll find the FSOG logo, and it’s on this ABS plastic area where you’ll also find the product’s two buttons and charging hole. The rest of the Greedy Girl is then made up of a silky but firm body-safe silicone, and typically it is only available in black (a signature of the range), however Lovehoney are also offering it in gold right now to celebrate the series’s 10th anniversary. On that note, while this is the original Greedy Girl rabbit, Lovehoney also produce a few different versions of it, such as a thruster and slimline. Finally, this toy is fully waterproof and USB rechargeable, and while it is anal safe it is not intended for this use.

Packaging

My order with JOUJOU for the Lovehoney Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl was placed on the 28th of July 2020 and I received it promptly on the 31st, which was brilliant considering the postal delays that were occurring back then. Plus, the box was completely discreet, with no mention of the sender or the contents. The packaging for the Greedy Girl itself is then fairly simple, which is what I’m use to from Lovehoney’s products and my only other FSOG toy, and considering this is a fairly low-priced vibrator I thought that was acceptable. A thin cardboard box featuring images and information on the toy, the Greedy Girl’s packaging can then be opened once the safety stickers are removed to reveal the product resting in paper (which does seem a little insecure). Included with it are then a huge silk storage bag that is branded with the FSOG logo (not at all discreet, but perfect for fans), a USB charging cord, and a small instruction manual.

Charging

Charging the Lovehoney Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl is easy since it is USB rechargeable. Just plug one end of the cord into a USB port, and the other end into the bottom of the toy. When charging the LED light above the charging port will be red, and when it is fully charged the light will change to green. Lovehoney recommend an initial charge of the toy before you first use it, which will take around two hours, and this should then give you around one hour of play time.

Controls

Controlling the Greedy Girl with its two buttons is pretty straight-forward. Essentially Lovehoney have given each motor its own button, and remembering which is which is easy as the larger button controls the larger internal arm, whilst the smaller button controls the smaller external arm. To turn an arm on just press the corresponding button, and they can then either be used separately or together. You can continue clicking the larger button to cycle through the internal arm’s three speeds and nine patterns, or the smaller button to cycle through the external arm’s three speeds. Then, to turn either off, just hold down the corresponding button. All of this works great and there is a good variety of speeds, however one thing I am not a fan of is that the internal arm has a ‘memory’ feature, where if you turn it off on pattern 5, for instance, it will return to pattern 5 when turned back on. As someone who hates patterns and likes to change the speed of her toy throughout play, I often find myself turning toys off and on in order to return to the lowest speed quickly, rather than clicking through all of the patterns. But since that cannot be done with this toy, it means that whenever I reach the top speed I need to click nine times in order to return to the lowest speed. The only upside is that this is not the case for the clitoral arm, nor does it have patterns, which is good as it would be far more of a problem than with the G-Spot vibrations, as I care for these less. Finally, another issue is that the buttons are very easy to press accidentally, and I have done so numerous times whilst this product has been in storage awaiting review. This is fixed somewhat by the fact that the Greedy Girl has a travel lock, which can be activated and deactivated by holding both buttons down for two seconds (charging it will also deactivate this). However, if the buttons are pressed whilst the travel lock is activated it’ll still vibrate twice quickly, which, while far better than going off fully, isn’t exactly discreet nor what I want when travelling, and so I feel it would serve far better if the toy just didn’t respond (or simply flashed its lights) when the travel lock is on.

First Impressions

Considering the love people have for this toy, I had pretty high expectations regarding its power levels. So when I turned it on for the first time and found strong but extremely buzzy vibrations in the internal arm I was a little taken aback. It all made sense as soon as I turned on the external arm however, which has beautifully rumbly vibrations with a hefty amount of power behind them. As someone who values her clitoral stimulation far more than anything else, this immediately told me I was going to be having a good time regardless of what the internal arm had to offer. Plus, I was seriously impressed by the amount of movement the vibrations give to the rabbit ears on the smaller arm, reminding me of flicking stimulators like the ZALO HERO and Vibease Ruby. As for the noise level it is then fairly loud, but considering the size of the Greedy Girl I was actually impressed that it wasn’t worse, and I do think you could perhaps get away with using it behind closed doors if you make sure to only turn it on once it’s inside of you, as this will dampen sound of the internal arm.

My Experience

Two things I was very aware of going into this review is that rabbits don’t typically agree with my body measurements, and that I generally need a bigger curve in order to stimulate my G-Spot. Due to this I had pretty low expectations of how my experience with the Greedy Girl would go, regardless of whether it was a good product or not. To start I found that I could insert it without any prior arousal despite its large size, however this was still a bit of a tight fit, and so using a smaller toy such as the Funkit Toys NoFrillDo first is definitely my preference. The small curve on the toy’s shaft was then helpful in allowing it to find my G-Spot, however it wasn’t enough to fully stimulate me, and angling it in this way meant that the smaller arm was nowhere near my clitoris, therefore confirming what I had already assumed: that both areas wouldn’t be able to be stimulated at once as intended. Moving the toy back to position the rabbit’s ears over my clit I was starting to think that all was lost, until, that is, I turned on the vibrations. The rumbly motor of the external arm on my clitoris feels absolutely wonderful, and this is only further enhanced by the movement of the rabbit’s ears. In fact, they move so much that it creates an almost thumping-like feeling within the toy that reminds me of a thruster. Turning the internal vibrations on then deepens the sensation, and while the Greedy Girl can be used hands-free, thrusting it has quickly become my favourite method, with the flexible ears allowing for these movements to occur comfortably while also maintaining full contact. All of this is especially aided by the toy’s excellent handle, which I find very comfortable to hold and use, with the buttons being positioned perfectly and the curve allowing you to apply extra pressure with ease. Orgasms with the Greedy Girl are then incredible, being not only quick and powerful, but extremely satisfying, and easily the best I have ever experienced from a traditional rabbit vibrator.

Cleaning & Care

Cleaning the Lovehoney Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl is easy as it is waterproof. Just wipe it down with some warm soapy water, rinse, and leave to air dry. You can then return it to its storage bag to ensure it stays clean before the next use. Make sure to not use silicone-based lubricant with this product, as it may react badly to the silicone it is made of, but if you do then first perform a spot test.

Final Thoughts

My enthusiasm for rabbits has only recently been restored after my review of the exceptional We-Vibe Nova 2, but even that wasn’t enough to take away from the years of bad dual-stimulator experiences all telling me that I wouldn’t like the Lovehoney Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl. But after finally trying it out for myself, I don’t just like it, I love it! The rumbly vibes of the external arm alongside the flicking movements of the ears provide wonderfully focused stimulation to my clitoris, whilst the large straight shaft of the internal arm provides a full feeling that is greatly enhanced by movements that are made easy with the ergonomic handle. Then, while the insertable element sadly couldn’t provide G-Spot vibrations at the same time as the clitoral arm, I honestly didn’t miss it as the sensations I was receiving from what I could feel were so intense anyway that it didn’t matter. Overall, I think this is easily the best traditional rabbit vibrator that I have tried, and considering its reasonable price I would wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone looking to delve into this sort of play, or if you’re just eager for an upgrade. Of course, if you’re a FSOG fan as well, then you’re going to be in for even more of a treat!

You can get the Lovehoney Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl from JOUJOU for just $119.99 AUD / $87 USD!

I received this product in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. Affiliate links have been used in this post.

I’ve spoken here about the need for a greater emphasis on sustainability within the sex toy industry quite a few times. It’s something I’ve been passionate about for as long as I can remember (I was one of three members of the sustainability council in primary school), and as I’ve gotten older this has only increased. Plus, when you receive as many sex toys as I do, you quickly realise the sheer level of waste they create, from the oversized packaging, huge instruction manuals, unnecessary plastics, and more, and that’s before you even begin think about the toys themselves and the vast amount that must be sitting in landfill right now. Typically though when I address it here it’s because of steps a small business is taking, from the eco-conscious creation of Deeper Blue Ceramic’s gorgeous pieces, to the low-waste packaging of Geeky Sex Toy’s orders, but this year for the first time I’m starting to see bigger brands consider changing things up too. Recently at the blog we’ve seen a lot of Lora DiCarlo’s beautiful storage bags that are proudly made from 100% recycled plastic found in the ocean, and now with announcements from more major brands about their commitment to sustainability, such as Womanizer’s new PREMIUMeco, I think we’re finally on the right track. So today we’re taking a closer look at one of the products that’s got me so excited for the future of this industry and finding out if Lovehoney’s latest collaboration with sustainable brand Love Not War feels as good to use as it does to support.

The Brand

When I first heard Lovehoney had teamed up with a brand whose entire concept is based on sustainability, I could not have been more excited. While I wasn’t aware of Love Not War before, nor their parent brand AUDO (Xiamen) Technology, which seems to be a primarily Chinese brand with no other experience in this industry as far as I can tell (despite what their website says, which lists them as experts in the field), I was more than a little intrigued by their unique mission. To start with, in combination with body-safe silicone, they’ve also used recycled aluminium as a primary material for their toys, an uncommon medium that they chose due to it being one of the most widely and easily recycled materials globally, and what little plastic they do use is recycled within the factory. Their packaging is then also low-waste, keeping things simple with recycled card and sugar cane, alongside a reusable storage bag made out of bamboo. As for the products themselves, Love Not War have considered every detail, offering a modular range of toys so that you only need buy one electrical component, which can then be switched out with six interchangeable heads. Unfortunately though at the time of writing the heads are not sold separately, which kind of nullifies this extra step, but I have been reassured that this is something the two brands are hoping to follow through on soon.

Product Description

Since they are modular, the four products within the Lovehoney X Love Not War range all look quite similar (two more can also be seen on Love Not War’s website, but aren’t currently available), being sleek extensions of the aluminium end that screws onto each of them. With a circumference of just 7.6cm / 3 inches, each of the silicone heads must continue at the same size, and thus most of the items work best as clitoral vibrators rather than vaginal toys. To keep things simple with this review so I could spend more time focusing on the quality of the item itself, I opted for the simplest attachment available: the Amore. Short and stout, the Amore features the classic lipstick bullet vibrator shape that’s reminiscent of the We-Vibe Tango (a favourite of mine and another reason why I requested the Amore), although the flat end has more of an outwards curve than pictures really show. Available only in grey (a striking orange that I adore can also be seen on Love Not War’s website but isn’t available yet), the matte silicone is then firm but with a soft end so that its tip may be angled as you wish. The silicone portion is then where most of the weight of the toy lies, as at 100g this is quite heavy for a bullet, and it is here you can find the Love Not War and Lovehoney logos, as well as the control button at the very end. Unscrewing this, you can then either switch to another head if you have one, or connect the toy to its USB charger. In addition the Amore is also fully waterproof, and although its size makes it far larger than a typical bullet, allowing it to work for vaginal play, it is not anal safe.

Packaging

My order with Lovehoney for the Lovehoney x Love Not War Amore was placed around the 19th of March and I received it on the 29th. As usual the box was fully discreet, with no mention of the sender or contents, and you can view my full unboxing here. The packaging for the toy itself was then what I expected, being simple and low-waste while still remaining stylish and modern. A simple card box featuring a sticker with some information on the toy, this can then be tore open (reducing the need for plastic security seals) to reveal the toy resting securely in another piece of card. Included is the charging cord and a beautiful bamboo storage bag that features the Love Not War logo, alongside two instruction manuals, one being printed on black card and working as a quick-start guide, and the other being a more typical manual that covers everything else. In addition the Amore also comes with a 2 year limited warranty.

Charging

Since the Lovehoney x Love Not War Amore is USB rechargeable, charging it is easy. Simply plug one end into a USB port, and the other end into the hole in the aluminium portion that becomes available when the device is unscrewed. When charging the button at the end of the toy will flash, and once complete this will become solid. Charging should then take roughly two hours, and this will give you around one hour of play time.

Controls

Like most bullet vibes, the Lovehoney x Love Not War Amore only has one button, which makes controlling it easy and means you don’t really need to refer to the instructions much (other than perhaps when wondering why it won’t turn on when it first arrives, which is because the travel lock is on and unlike other toys this is not deactivated by charging). Basically, you can start the Amore by just pressing the button once, which will put you on the lowest steady speed, and then you can continue clicking it to cycle through the ten different modes, four of which are steady speeds and six of which are patterns (the marketing suggests it has seven patterns, but it is including the steady speed as one). Then to turn the toy off again you can hold down the button for three seconds. Finally, if you would like to lock the toy for travel, this can be activated and deactivated by holding the button down for six seconds, with success being indicated by it vibrating a few times.

First Impressions

I’ve tried a few modular toys so far for the blog, but as great as an idea as it is, I feel there is always a disconnect between the two elements that ultimately means the product isn’t as powerful as it would be otherwise. So it was because of this that vibration strength was definitely the biggest concern going into this review for me. Turning on the Lovehoney x Love Not War Amore for the first time however, I was quite surprised and taken aback at how genuinely powerful this little toy is. Fairly rumbly, the Amore also has a great range of speeds and a good depth to its strong vibrations, and while they get more buzzy as the speed increases, they definitely put any doubts I had previously entertained about this product at ease. What’s more, there is barely any residual vibrations on the aluminium handle, allowing you to hold it without numbing out your hand, which is a common complaint with these smaller vibes. As for the “whisper quiet” noise level, this unfortunately is something the Amore doesn’t live up to, as it is fairly loud and may be risky to use if you require privacy.

My Experience

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that the Lovehoney x Love Not War Amore’s powerful vibrations, sleek design and easy controls combined to make using this vibrator a lot of fun. The rumbliness of the vibrations are just perfect on my clit, as is the range of vibration speeds, and it doesn’t take much to give me some incredibly quick and satisfying orgasms. Plus, the soft silicone makes using it alongside other toys much easier than say the hard plastic of the We-Vibe Tango, and being able to switch between broad stimulation and pin-point pleasure depending on how you hold it is a delight. Something I didn’t expect to love quite so much though was the unusually large size of it, as I not only found it easier to hold, but it also allowed for more of my vulva to be stimulated, and I have thoroughly enjoyed lying its whole length along me and closing my legs around it, something I could never do with a smaller bullet like the Dame Kip. On that note, while I do ultimately prefer the design and vibes of the Kip over the Amore, I did enjoy it more than the Hot Octopuss AMO, which until now was my second favourite bullet vibrator. Perhaps the only downside to this toy is the button, which I do find a little difficult to press with one hand due to its small size at the end of what is a fairly long toy. But overall this really didn’t feel like it mattered considering how good everything else was.

Cleaning & Care

Since the Lovehoney x Love Not War Amore is fully waterproof and also primarily for external use, cleaning it should be super easy. Simply wipe it down with some soapy warm water, rinse, and then leave to air dry. If you have used it vaginally, then you may also want to give it a deeper clean with a spare soapy toothbrush, especially where the silicone meets the aluminium, as bacteria may hide here. You can then store it in the bag it came with. Finally, don’t use silicone-based lubricant with this product, as it may react badly to the silicone it is made of.

Final Thoughts

Such a high standard has been set for bullet vibrators at this point that it often seems new products, especially one from a completely new brand, can’t compete. But yet the Lovehoney x Love Not War Amore is here to prove that wrong. Often sex toys with a unique twist or selling point such as this will put so much into perfecting that one thing, that the actual pleasure will be missing. But as Love Not War proudly states, they made sure to achieve their dreams without compromising on all of the other things that matter. Not only is this a brilliant example of an eco-friendly sex toy, right down to its manufacturing and packaging, but it feels great too, and I’m so proud to now be able to call it my Number Two when it comes to clitoral vibrations. Plus, it could be a real investment if Lovehoney and Love Not War do start selling the heads separately, as I’ll be able to continue enjoying these satisfying vibrations in a range of different styles for far cheaper than if I was to buy them individually. Overall, I am absolutely impressed with the Amore and wholeheartedly recommend it and its sister products to anyone looking for a small vibrator or sustainable sex toy, and I look forward to seeing Love Not War continue their mission!

You can get the Lovehoney x Love Not War Amore for just $129.95 AUD at Lovehoney Australia or $84.99 USD at Lovehoney US, plus use my code HONEYX10 to get 10% OFF your total order!

I received this product in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. Affiliate links have been used in this post.

I’ve probably mentioned this once or twice over the years, but I am a huge Christmas person. My decorations go up on November 1st without fail, with practically every element in the house getting switched over to a festive version, from Christmas aprons and tea towels, to Christmas bath mats and pyjamas. I start menu planning months ahead of time and spend most of December in the kitchen, that is when I’m not attending Christmas markets, drinking eggnog or wrapping presents. But one of my absolute favourite parts of Christmas for as long as I can remember has always been the advent calendars. Over the years I’ve watched as they’ve evolved from basic chocolates to luxury varieties filled with things like bath bombs and wine, and I have been 100% here for all of it, regularly having three just to myself (this year’s themes being local craft beer, Back To The Future, and the annual DIY one from my mum, which is usually a mix of tea and candy). The one type of calendar I haven’t tried yet, however, which may be somewhat surprising considering my profession, is sex toys. So this year Christmas feels like it has come early, because Lovehoney have treated me to their very own 2021 “Best Sex Of Your Life” Couples Advent Calendar!

It’s been a massive long-term goal of mine to review an advent calendar, yet between how quickly they sell out and how frequently they contain non-body safe items, it has just never worked out. But when I first saw Lovehoney’s calendar collection this year I was immediately impressed. There are four options to choose from, including a 7 day version filled with lingerie (and available in two sizes) and two 12 day versions, one being for those with a penis and the other being for those with a vulva. The only full 24 day version, however, (and the one I’ll be reviewing today) is Lovehoney’s annual Couples Calendar, which they’ve this year dubbed the “Best Sex Of Your Life”. Containing a mix of items from sex toys and bondage gear to more couples-orientated pieces, this collection is primarily aimed at cis straight couples. Although the range of items contained within it is absolutely varied enough that couples of any gender or body type could enjoy it, including singles or people with multiple partners. Plus, like I mentioned before, material safety is always an issue when it comes to these type of collections, but every item in this calendar is either made with body-safe materials or can be used externally.

Sounding good? Well wait till you hear this next part. Being sold for just $225 AUD, the Lovehoney 2021 Couples Advent Calendar has an estimated value of over $660… AND the mystery product in Day 24 retails at $200 alone! Which means you could essentially say you’re just buying the calendar for Day 24 (and trust me, it’s the sort of product you would do that for), and then think of the other 23 items as only costing you $25! Of course, I won’t give any spoilers away right now regarding what’s inside (that’s later on in the review, although do be careful when browsing Lovehoney’s website as they don’t exactly hide it), but what I will tell you is that you are going to be having a lot of fun. Essentially the ultimate starter-pack for any sex toy beginner, you’ll end up on Christmas Eve with one of almost every type of toy, alongside a few bondage items and a variety of other treats as well. In this regard I don’t think there is any better way to begin a collection or to experiment with new things, and the price starts to seem ridiculously low when you look at it like that. For those with an established collection, however, this will be a little less interesting, but even I found products that I wasn’t familiar with. Plus, the ones I did have other copies of were still fun, because it gave me and my partner a chance to get reacquainted with them. The only things that the calendar does not include, which Lovehoney have options to buy alongside it, is lubricant (a must have) and one AA battery, which is required for one of the items.

As you can see, Lovehoney haven’t just put effort into the contents of this year’s box. The actual calendar itself is beautiful, and I can’t tell you how tempted I was to cancel this review and leave it up with my Christmas decorations instead (even though it’s mid October and my Halloween decorations are just out of the frame). Using red and gold as a colour scheme (which is continued throughout most of the toys), the front and inside are both very stylish and visually pleasing, and fit right in with my own traditional festive aesthetic. Using a mix of numbers and letters (as in, some days might read as “9”, whilst others use “Nine”) they’ve then created a really nice contrast, and while there is no indication here that the calendar contains NSFW items, the Lovehoney logo is quite present (which may be more familiar than other adult brands considering their TV ads). The back then gives you a little more information, including clues about what you might find inside and tips for safe play. Quite large, the box also has a good amount of depth to it, allowing it to stand upright without any concerns of falling over. Plus, whilst I might be imagining it, I do think it has magnets that allow it to stay shut when closed, which means if you plan on putting it away when you have house guests over, this is all too easy. Finally, upon opening the windows (which are perforated around the sides but not at the top, so that the flaps can be placed back down after opening) you’ll find a little bit of information on the back of the cardboard about each product.

There’s not much more I can say now without revealing what’s inside, so if you don’t want to know… stop here! Go grab one for yourself before it sells out like usual (just don’t read the product description and try to cover up any images) or get someone to buy it for you, and make sure to throw in a bottle of lube and some batteries! But for those who just can’t wait till Christmas, read on…

Inside The Box

I was so excited to open up the 2021 Lovehoney “Best Sex Of Your Life” Couples Advent Calendar that I recorded myself doing it, and you can watch the full video here to see my first impressions of all 24 items. Now I’ve had a little bit of time to properly test out and consider all of the products however, I have plenty of opinions as well as advice for how to get the most out of them.

Day 1: USB Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

The humble bullet vibrator is the most versatile and beginner’s friendly of all the sex toys. So its inclusion in Day 1 could not have been more perfect. But this isn’t just any old bullet. In fact, it’s a USB rechargeable version offering seven pattern modes and three different speeds. Considering most bullets are battery-powered and only feature three speeds in total, this showed me right from the get-go that Lovehoney would be going the extra mile with this calendar. Plus, its shiny red coating is wonderfully festive, allowing it to stand out among the the pinks, blacks and silvers of the rest of my bullets. As for the USB cord, this is also included in the window, but it’s behind a bit of tissue paper so that it doesn’t take away from the immediate excitement of the item.

Day 2: Adjustable Cock Ring

My partner and I have been exploring the world of cock rings for around a year now, and they’ve come to be a terrific addition to our toy box. This version is quite simple and unlike anything else we own, essentially being a thin piece of silicone joined together with a black piece of plastic, rather than an actual “ring”. While we haven’t tried it yet, I like the idea, as it effectively makes the item one-size-fits-all, and I’m fairly sure there’s a number of other ways it could be adapted for couples who don’t have a penis, for instance it could be used to attach the bullet to your finger like with the Hot Octopuss DiGiT. Plus, the addition of the plastic makes loosening and tightening it easy, as you can simply press down the button on it to release the silicone. The only downside might be that if there is a lot of silicone left over, it might get in the way.

Day 3: Starry-Eyed Blindfold

Last year I received Lovehoney’s Starry Night Bondage Bundle as part of my 12 Days of Lovehoney Christmas celebrations, which was made up of three items that have been clearly updated for this calendar. Day 3’s blindfold is one of them, although it in no way makes it any less enjoyable. This year they’ve fully committed to the classic Christmas theme, not only making the items red rather than black, but also by using stars that are much more festive than before (this is debatable, but I do like how they’re less generic). They’ve also included the Lovehoney logo among the stars, which I only think works as part of the Advent Calendar. As for the mask itself, I have a few of these from Lovehoney now and have used them occasionally, both for sleep and sex, and think they’re wonderful. The double strap ensures there’ll be no peaking, although does mean it can be a little tight. Plus, while the front is satin, the inside is then luxuriously soft and furry, which is an upgrade from last year’s thicker velvet-like material.

Day 4: Dice

I feel like Days 1, 2 and 3 give you a few things to play with, and then Day 4 gives you the opportunity to really put them to use (if you haven’t already!). Sex dice are always a winner, because they give you a fun and approachable way to be intimate with your partner, and maybe even try some new things. Two dice are included with the Advent Calendar, with one being the action dice (Blow, Nibble, Kiss, Lick & Massage) and the other being the body part dice (Penis or Clitoris, Nipples, Inner Thigh, Neck & Butt). Both dice also then feature a “Roller’s Choice”, which I do feel is a bit of a downside as it breaks up the game a little by introducing the element of choice, and so when we get this we usually just reroll. Overall though I like these as they’re another basic yet essential item that works well for this early on. Plus, I feel like the other items would work perfectly with them, and I definitely encourage a combo of blindfold + bullet + body part dice (or maybe “Roller’s Choice” could even become “Bullet Vibrator”?).

Day 5: Slimline Butt Plug

Onto Day 5 and we’re introducing our first toy for anal play! While this may seem a little adventurous this early on in the calendar, I think it’s a great choice considering this is a type of play anyone can try. Plus, this is a wonderful starting option, with a small size and large taper for easy insertion. What’s more is that this has been made with silicone, which not only means it is body-safe, but also means it’s a lot more pricey too, for those who may have been feeling a little cheated with the last three items. Black is then my preferred colour for butt toys, being both gender neutral and dark enough to hide any mess, whilst a hole at the base is sized for Day 1’s bullet vibrator. This gives an instant upgrade to the plug, effectively turning it into a vibrator, while also being a great way to reuse products from past windows. Since the base is quite flimsy without the bullet inserted, however, I wouldn’t recommend using it without.

Day 6: Kegel Balls

If you were feeling impressed by the quality of the last item, get ready for Day 6! The first product specifically for those with a vagina, Lovehoney have gone above and beyond with these kegel balls. While there are many different ways to present this type of item, which is more wellness product than sex toy, this is one of the more elaborate methods, making this the closest to a luxury product that we’ve seen so far. Specially designed to help tone your pelvic floor and therefore increase pleasure, the two weighted balls (which each weigh 25 grams) can be used separately or together depending on your experience level, as they can be quickly removed from the harness. Plus, being able to remove them also allows for easy cleaning, as does the silicone coating on all elements.

Day 7: Beaded Stroker

The penis-owner in your relationship might be feeling a little left out after Day 6, but don’t worry, things are about to even out. For Day 7 we have a ribbed stroker that features a row of metal beads on both sides. While this is visually the least impressive product so far, essentially just being a grey tube, I do love that it is non-anatomical and non-gendered. Plus, by having the hole open out at the end, it can be cleaned fairly easily. Considering the last few days have been mostly solo-play products, I also think this comes at a great time, as while this could be used solo, it’s going to be a lot more fun when controlled by a partner. Finally, since this is likely made from TPE, it’s not something that’ll last forever like silicone, so make sure to keep an eye on it for any changes.

Day 8: Mini Paddle

At this point I think we’re ready for some more couples-orientated products, and that’s exactly what Day 8 provides. The longest of the windows, and no doubt one you’ve had your eye on, this doesn’t disappoint, with a mini paddle that knows how to pack a punch. Featuring a beautiful Christmas-themed design on one side and red leather (most likely faux) on the other, this feels very high quality and is complimented perfectly with a small tag featuring the Lovehoney logo and black ribbon wrist-strap. Matching the blindfold from Day 3, this is then very similar to the paddle I received for last year’s holiday Starry Night Bondage Bundle, but again I much prefer this. Being our first proper bondage toy for the calendar, this also provides a very approachable and beginner’s friendly starting point.

Day 9: Scented Candle

After some great items so far, Day 9 does feel like a bit of a stocking stuffer. After all, it’s just a small candle, and not even a massage one at that! Plus, what Christmas-themed scent does it have? Vanilla. Alright, so Lovehoney may have run out of ideas when it came to this one, but at least the festive tin it comes in is cute, and even though vanilla might not be the most interesting scent, it sure smells good and is probably going to be something everyone can enjoy. Plus, candles are great for setting the mood, and so this is surely going to be seeing a lot of use. Maybe it could become a goal to finish it before NYE and only put it on when you’re being intimate or using something from the calendar? Now that sounds like fun!

Day 10: Crystal Butt Plug

To celebrate the switch to double digits is another butt plug, but this one is quite different from the last! Here we have a crystal butt plug, which is sometimes referred to as a princess plug, and funnily enough the first thing I ever reviewed at the blog (and part of the reason why I called myself Princess Previews!). This one is even less intimidating than the last, being far smaller and easier to insert due to the smooth metal material, and to be honest I think the two would have been better off if their placements were switched. The red gem alongside a gold body is also perfectly themed for Christmas and the calendar’s colour scheme, whilst the metal gives you access to temperature play. Plus, for couples it now means you can wear your butt plugs together, as well as see which version you prefer.

Day 11: Mini G-Spot Vibrator

So far we’ve only had one vibrating toy in Day 1, so I think the mini G-Spot vibe hiding under Day 11’s window is wonderfully timed. This is also the one item in the calendar that requires a battery, and inserting this is easy with a simple twist control for either “Open”, “Off”, or “On”. The toy itself is then very small, and while I know it’s called “Mini” for a reason, it does make me question how well it’s going to be able to reach people’s G-Spots, even with the little curve at the end. The material is also ABS plastic, making it better suited for external clitoral play than internal. Plus, while it could be used by penis-owners, it is not anal-safe as it does not feature a base. Overall this is nice, but since it seems like it’s supposed to be a luxury G-Spot vibrator, which it is very much not, it may be a little disappointing to some.

Day 12: Male Stroker

We’ve gone 12 days without any gendered language, so opening up this stroker and seeing the name was a little disappointing. The actual item itself though is great, and while it is designed specifically for the penis, this is by no means its only use. A small white ball likely made of TPE, it features a lightning bolt pattern on the inside for stimulation when used on the penis (I’ve folded it inside-out for the photo so this is visible). Since this type of toy is generally one-use however, you must be gentle when using it and apply extra lubricant if you want it to last longer. As for alternative uses, this is perfect for adding texture to a wand massager if you have one, but again it won’t last forever, which is probably the biggest downside to Day 12.

Day 13: Wrist Restraints

We’re just over half way now and starting to get a few more filler items, such as Day 13’s Lovehoney branded wrist restraints. Black, 127cm / 50 inches long and made of satin, there’s not much I can say about these two. Smaller in width than the Lovehoney Oh! Silky Bondage Restraints I own, they’re also made of a shinier material, both of which I prefer, although they aren’t as high quality as what was included with the Big Oh! Board Game that I received last Christmas. A Lovehoney logo in red and gold then also features at one end, which helps to at least continue the festive theme. While probably the most initially underwhelming of all the items so far (asides from the candle, that is), there is certainly still a lot of fun to be had with these for those who embrace the idea. For instance, you can combo it with the blindfold and paddle, or even tie it around the bullet for hands-free solo play!

Day 14: Nipple Clamps

Day 14 brings us the smallest item of the calendar, so much so that there is even an extra window inside just to ensure they don’t just fall out and immediately get lost down the grate you’ve surely opened them over. These nipple clamps are again the same as the ones provided in Lovehoney’s Starry Night Bondage Bundle, with the main difference here being the red and gold colour scheme as opposed to black and silver, which again I think far better suits the theme. Additionally, the small decorative item has also been changed, this time being the Lovehoney logo rather than a star. If it wasn’t for the fact that this is Lovehoney’s annual Advent Calendar, which I think gives them the right to do some boasting, I’d say this was in bad taste, but at least the little butt / heart symbol looks adorable. The clamps themselves are also great quality whilst remaining relatively simple, with an easy latch allowing you to tighten and loosen the amount of pressure that is applied.

Day 15: Anal Beads

It’s Day 15 and we’ve finally got a toy again, this time in the form of anal beads! After two butt toys now you’re surely feeling a lot more familiar with anal play, and beads are the obvious next step. Plus, the design is very similar to that of the Slimline plug, using the same black silicone and also featuring a hole at the end for the bullet vibrator from Day 1. So for those who enjoyed either of the other plugs (but especially Day 5’s) I think this is going to be a perfect addition and a whole new way to experiment. Plus, far too often plugs are seen as the be-all-end-all for anal play, when beads are just as fun if not better, and so I’m glad to see their addition. Finally, while the description on the box suggests the loop be used for your finger when the bullet is not inserted, I would be careful with this and not insert it past the final bulb without the bullet.

Day 16: Mint Orgasm Balm

Day 16 probably looks to be the most boring item in the calendar at first, with the tiny tin seeming like an even smaller version of the candle. Opening it up and sniffing the minty-fresh balm probably doesn’t help either, nor will reading me write about it. But once you actually apply it to a sensitive area, such as your clitoris or nipples, you’ll understand why this is actually a very exciting item. Effectively working as an instant upgrade to whatever you’re doing, when applied the balm creates a cooling sensation that increases stimulation and pleasure, which is why it’s called an orgasm balm. You could combo with this with really any of the items you’ve received so far, but my pick would be the bullet, and if playing with a partner, I’d throw in some bondage with the blindfold and restraints too.

Day 17: Rabbit Cock Ring

For Day 17 we’re finally getting an upgrade to Day 2’s cock ring, and this one is a doozy. Similar to the butt plug and anal beads, this toy is also made out of black silicone and features a hole for the bullet, effectively making it a vibrator. This does mean it’s not as stretchy as some cock rings however, and certainly not adjustable like Day 2’s was, and so there is a chance it may not work for you. As for the rabbit component, this is very interesting and not something I’ve seen before. Not only does it increase solo pleasure, but during PIV sex it can completely transform the experience, with the bullet and rabbit ears being positioned so that they should perfectly meet up against your partner’s clitoris, allowing a hands-free orgasm for both of you. You can tell we’re approaching the end now, because this is a seriously great addition.

Day 18: Pom-Pom Tickler

I may have spoken too soon with Day 17, because Day 18 is…. a furry clown nose with some Velcro stuck to it? Okay, well the official name is Pom-Pom Tickler, and while it does look slightly hilarious and is clearly very cheap, I still think this is a fun item. Ticklers are great for adding stimulation to play, especially when paired with sensory deprivation items, such as blindfolds and restraints (which you happen to have!). Usually they’re attached to the end of a stick however, which is why this looks so odd, but I actually really like this idea. The Velcro straps allow you to easily attach it to practically anything you want, and placing it so it rests on the palm of my hand or alternatively two fingers is ideal, allowing me to run my hand over my partner’s body only for them to feel a tantalising sensation instead. You could also put it on something like the paddle, if you do want to have more of a handle.

Day 19: Vanilla Massage Oil

Hopefully you haven’t had enough of the smell of vanilla yet after that challenge I set you on Day 9, because Day 19 is a vanilla-scented massage oil! This is another simple product, but at this point in the calendar we’ve tried a lot of different items, and considering it’s only six days before Christmas I think we all deserve a bit of relaxation. So settling in for a sensual night of massages rather than sex is sounding pretty good when you look at it like that. Plus, this smells absolutely wonderful and feels amazing. The only downside is that there has been a bit of a printing issue with the label on it, as while the top is cut off early so you cannot fully read the instructions, the bottom features printer marks.

Day 20: G-Spot Dildo

We’re finally onto the final five days, and we’re starting off with a classic. Behind Day 20’s window is a G-Spot dildo that uses the same silky black silicone as some of the other toys, alongside a hole in its base to allow for the Day 1 bullet to be inserted, turning it into a vibrator. But while I love the idea of this, I do feel Lovehoney have missed the mark in a few areas. Firstly, like the G-Spot Vibrator, “Mini” should also be in the name of this, because it is very small. Obviously space is limited in an advent calendar, but I do feel that if they had room for a paddle, they could have found it for a normal sized insertable toy. Plus, the G-Spot curve is barely noticeable, and this combined with the length means that there’s a good chance it won’t work for everyone. The biggest problem though, is that the flared base is extremely thin, so much so that I do not feel this would be anal safe. This is not only a disappointment for anyone without a vagina who now cannot use it, but it also means that those who have been exploring anal play during the calendar are unable to progress to what would have been an obvious next step, and all because the base wasn’t another centimetre or so longer.

Day 21: Body Massager

Asides from this year’s hero product in Day 24, Day 21 is the calendar’s biggest window, and so I was pretty excited to open this one. I definitely wasn’t expecting the strange starfish-shaped item I found behind it though, which is actually a body massager. However, it has quickly become one of my favourite items here, mostly because it is just unlike anything else I own. Made with a firm resin-like red plastic filled with glittery sparkles, this little device feels seriously good when applied to my back solo, and when my partner takes control of it… oh my. This is then made even better when combined with the massage oil from Day 19 and scented candle from Day 9. I don’t know about you, but this is exactly what I need four days before Christmas.

Day 22: Stretchy Penis Sleeve

We’ve had ups and downs throughout this calendar, but overall everything has been pretty good and every item I would be happy for myself and my partner to use. But then we come to Day 22. This is a penis sleeve, which is an item I don’t have any prior experience with, but from what I can tell it’s designed to sit over the penis, so that during penetrative sex it adds extra stimulation, similar to a ribbed condom. I like the idea, but the problem here is that the material it is made with is clearly not body-safe. While it could be TPE, the transparency suggests jelly, which could not only cause chemical burns (something that has happened to me, and the reason I started this blog) but various other health problems if inserted into the body. Due to this I cannot recommend it be used as intended, but it can still be applied externally for added stimulation, perhaps over the top of the G-Spot Vibrator, for a short time until you dispose of it to avoid further issues.

Day 23: Sex Position Cards

When I first pulled out a pack of playing cards on the second last day of the calendar, I gotta admit I felt a little annoyed. Plus, it seemed like something that would have gone better at the start, so you could have played with them throughout the month. But that was until I started having a proper look at them. Similar to the Position of the Week Book from Lovehoney that I tried last Christmas, these playing cards each feature a sex position on them that range from easy, medium and difficult. The best bit though (and reason it couldn’t come before now) is that every one of the 26 cards has suggestions on which toys from the calendar you should pair with it. So if you’re starting to feel a little tired after such a busy month, or perhaps overwhelmed by the amount of products suddenly at your disposal, these are the perfect way to re-inspire yourself. Plus, I actually prefer the randomised element of these over the book.

Day 24: Womanizer Classic

It’s finally Christmas Eve, which means it’s Day 24 and time for Lovehoney’s $200 hero product! This is actually the only non-Lovehoney product in the calendar, and who else would they choose for their pièce de résistance than my absolute favourite sex toy manufacturer, Womanizer! Known for their mind-blowing suction products, which they were the OG creators of, Lovehoney have chosen to include their massively popular Classic at Day 24. While it’s not a model I’ve tried, it is very similar to my favourite suction toy of all time, the Womanizer Premium, and so it’s one I’ve been meaning to buy for awhile now. I’ll be giving this a full review at the blog soon, but if I know Womanizer this is going to blow your Christmas-themed socks right off, and is the perfect way to finish off this calendar (for those with vulvas, at least). While the charging cord and instruction manuals are also included in the window, these are simplified presumably for the sake of space, and sadly the storage pouch and extra nozzle that would normally be included are missing. An upside however, is that the bright pink body and white nozzle of the toy appear to be unique, as I haven’t been able to find an example of the toy ever being made in this colour scheme before, meaning this is a potentially limited edition version of Womanizer Classic made especially for the Lovehoney Advent Calendar, nice!

Final Thoughts

Overall I am extremely pleased with the 2021 Lovehoney Couples Advent Calendar. While there were some clear filler items alongside actual products, I felt there was a good balance between the two and that they were well paced out. Plus, there were plenty of high-quality items that I would pay good money for on Lovehoney’s website, so the value in here is really quite crazy when you consider how little it all costs.

Of the 24 items, only five were specifically for a penis (Adjustable Cock Ring, Beaded Stroker, Male Stroker, Rabbit Cock Ring and Stretchy Penis Sleeve), with two of them being intended for PIV sex and almost all having the ability to be adapted for alternative uses, while only three were specifically for those with a vulva (Kegel Balls, G-Spot Dildo and Womanizer Classic). So even for those in relationships where you don’t have one of these body parts, you won’t be at much of a loss. Perhaps the biggest downside in this regard is the Womanizer Classic being the hero product, as while I love it personally, if you don’t have a clitoris then this may be a big disappointment considering it’s the final item. Perhaps this is why Lovehoney included more penis-specific toys, in a effort to help balance this out.

As for favourites, the USB Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator, Kegel Balls, Crystal Butt Plug, Body Massager and Womanizer Classic were definite stand-outs for me, as were most of the silicone bullet-compatible items. Disappointments had to be the Mini G-Spot Vibrator and G-Spot Dildo, mostly because of how small they both were, whilst the worst offender was obviously the Stretchy Penis Sleeve, which gives me the heebie-jeebies just looking at it. The only thing I felt that was missing from the calendar was lube, but considering Lovehoney make it clear on their website that you’ll need to buy this as an addition, it’s not so bad (plus you’ll probably be using more than they could have fit anyway), and their Delight Lubricant is my personal recommendation.

To summarise though, I have been overwhelmingly impressed with the Lovehoney Advent Calendar, and while there were a few things that could be improved upon, it would still make an absolutely excellent addition to anyone’s Christmas, particularly those who are looking to try sex toys but are unsure where to start. Plus, even if Christmas and advent calendars aren’t really your thing, I think you’ll be hard pressed to find a beginner’s kit at better value than this. So head on over to Lovehoney now to grab one for yourself, because these won’t last much longer!

Sadly, the 2021 Lovehoney Couples Advent Calendar has now been discontinued.

I received this product in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. Affiliate links have been used in this post. 

October 19, 2021 by Grace