I love working directly with manufacturers. Not only does it mean I get to work alongside the people who actually make the product, but it can also mean I get access to brand new products that might have not even hit the stores yet. So, recently when I saw Rocks Off put out a call for reviewers for their newest toy range, I was super eager to be a part of it. I was then lucky enough to get chosen, and sent a list of items to choose from. This was a tough decision, but ultimately my love for clitoral toys won out, and I requested the Rocks Off Unihorn and Purple Heart, two fantastic looking clitoral vibrators. Today I am just reviewing the Unihorn, but look out for my Purple Heart review in the coming weeks.

Product Description

The Rocks Off Unihorn Stardust is by far the most gorgeous clit vibe I have ever owned, and easily one of my most beautiful sex toys in general. It’s only a simple design, but the gradient of colours used on it make it look absolutely magical. Aside from its appearance it is a relatively simple clit vibe, without any special features or functions. It is made from hard reflective plastic, which feels really nice to the touch, and is shaped to represent a unicorn’s horn. At its larger end is a single button for controlling its 10 settings, and two finger-sized dents which I assume is for ease of holding. A seam separates the horn and larger end, and this is the battery compartment. This can be easily opened by twisting the toy, and it uses one AAA battery (which is included). The button itself is very pronounced and features the Rocks Off logo, and I really like this in particular as it feels good to press down. Finally, the toy is waterproof and comes with a 12 month guarantee.

The Brand

Rocks Off are a UK based company who create all sorts of amazing, body-safe toys. They mostly sell electronic toys such as vibrators, and even toys that would usually not be electronic always seem to have a bullet vibe snuck into them. I have actually reviewed a product from Rocks Off before back in 2015 for Cara Sutra’s Pleasure Panel. It was the Butt Quiver, a large silicone butt plug that also came with their best-selling RO-80mm bullet vibe. Despite its “5 million sold” fame, I wasn’t super impressed by that bullet, and found it quite weak and buzzy. So when agreeing to these items I was quite excited to learn just how much Rocks Off had improved since my last review.

Packaging

My order with Rocks Off was placed on the 22nd of November, and I received the package on the 27th of November, which is the fastest I have ever received anything from the UK or overseas. In fact, that’s quicker than most domestic post I get! Unfortunately, the package was not discreet at all, with the sender being listed as Rocks Off and the product as ‘Electrical Vibratory Massage Appliance’. Even though Rocks Off are a manufacturer, they also sell their products online and have a 100% discreet shipping policy, so I was surprised to see this. Perhaps they send review items differently than they do for actual customers. Either way this is something to be cautious about if discreet delivery is important to you.

The packaging for the Rocks Off Unihorn was very similar to my previous Rocks Off item. It comes with a white sleeve with just the name of the toy on it to keep things discreet, which I love, and then under this is the actual packaging. This is a very luxurious box, with a stunning lace-like pattern on it that has been printed with a varnish so it shines in light. The product can then be viewed through the clear plastic on the front, and on the back is all sorts of information about the toy. Inside the box is the toy itself, a small booklet on instructions and the warranty, and a piece of card that contains further instructions. The booklet and card are actually hidden in the back of the box, so make sure to look for them when receiving any Rocks Off products and not just throw away the box (I almost missed them completely)! The box itself is a good size, and could be easily used for storage purposes if you wished.

Controls

Since the Rocks Off Unihorn only features one button, using it is rather easy and intuitive. I particularly like the button itself, as I have found with similar low-price vibrators that the buttons can often feel unpleasant to press or don’t properly ‘click’, making it hard to know whether you have successfully pressed it or not. But this button is big, squishy, and has a loud and satisfying ‘click’ when you press it down. The toy has 10 settings, 3 of which are steady speeds, and 7 of which are patterns. To use the toy just press the button once, which will always start it on the first steady speed, and then pressing the button again will let you cycle through the 10 speeds before going back to the first. To turn off the toy just hold down the button for a few seconds. I love everything about how this toy works, and it is ideal for me. 3 steady speeds is a good amount, and while I don’t use patterns at least 7 isn’t too crazy of a number. I also love that it always starts on the steady speeds, as it means if I am edging and want to reduce the speed all I have to do is turn it off and on again, rather than having to click through all of the speeds just to get back to it (like the We-Vibe Tango). I found I didn’t even need to read the instructions to use this toy, as it was just simple to understand and very user friendly.

First Impressions

As soon as I turned the Rocks Off Unihorn on it was clear that this was more of the buzzy than rumbly variety of vibrator. Some people prefer buzzy vibes, but sadly I am not one of them, so I was a little disappointed to find this toy in that category.  The vibrations also aren’t very strong, although because the toy is made with hard ABS plastic they do feel quite powerful, so I wasn’t too bothered by this. Additionally, I find the Unihorn a little more high pitched in noise than some of my other bullet vibes like the We-Vibe Tango and Nu Sensuelle Point, but not so much that this was annoying or a worry when it came to privacy.

My Experience

Since the Rocks Off Unihorn is on the buzzy side, I was fairly worried about how my rumble-loving clit would find it. Unfortunately I found my worrying to be justified, as I have a hard time enjoying this vibe. The vibrations feel like they just reach the surface of my clit, and don’t penetrate deep enough to stimulate myself properly. I do receive some pleasure from it though, and can orgasm from using it, but it just takes far longer than it would normally take me to climax from using a vibrator, and the orgasms are far weaker. I find it works best during PIV sex or when I am also using other toys, as this way it combines with the additional stimulation I am receiving to feel far more powerful.

Cleaning & Care

Cleaning this toy couldn’t be easier since it is waterproof and made with body-safe ABS plastic. Just wash it in some warm soapy water and then rinse. You can then leave it to air dry or towel dry it, and return it to storage. To increase the life of its battery it is also recommended to remove this prior to storage.

Final Thoughts

Everything about the Rocks Off Unihorn was perfect for me, except its vibrations. But it’s important to point out that while I dislike buzzy vibrations, some people enjoy them, so while this toy was not for me I’m sure there any many people who are going to adore it. If you know you like buzzy vibrations then I would definitely recommend this toy to you, and if you are new to vibrators and not sure about your preferences then I would still recommend this as you’ll likely be more sensitive to the vibrations than I am. Plus, it looks gorgeous, is easy to clean, is waterproof, is intuitive to use, and is quite cheap! The only real downside to it is that it’s battery operated, but since the battery is included when you buy it even I wasn’t too bothered by this. If you do want something more rumbly then I would recommend checking out my We-Vibe Tango and Nu Sensuelle Point reviews, but these sorts of toys do cost more money. Despite what my clitoris thinks, this toy has been a pleasure to review and is certainly one of the most attractive sex toys I have ever owned.

Sadly, the Rocks Off Unihorn has now been discontinued.

Continue with more of my bullet vibe reviews here!

Last updated: 18/2/24

Price at the time of writing: $36 AUD / $28 USD

I received this product in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. Affiliate links have been used in this post.

It’s been a few years now since I’ve written a ‘Mini Review’ for the blog, a category previously reserved for Toy Cleaners. But recently I’ve acquired a few items as gifts, that while I’m under no obligation to write about and that aren’t even really substantial enough as a product to give a regular review to, I still want to share my thoughts on. As such, Mini Reviews are probably something that will become a bit more regular on the blog now! First up is a product I received from Lovehoney recently to celebrate Sexual Happiness Week, the Lovehoney Oh! Bath Bomb.

I am a bit obsessed with bath bombs. I haven’t had my own tub for a few years now, which is probably a good thing since I use to spend most of my money at Lush when I did. But I still always make sure to buy myself one whenever I am visiting my Mum’s house (who does have a tub). So when I saw Lovehoney had sent me their very own version, I was beyond excited. Plus, not only is it a bath bomb, but it also has a “sexy surprise” inside for extra fun once the bomb has done its job.

There are two versions of the Lovehoney Oh! Bath Bomb, For Her, and For Him, and I received the For Her version. I really hate this gendered language and think it’s very unnecessary. Essentially the difference between the two versions is that the For Her comes with a clitoral style finger-vibe, while the For Him comes with a cock ring style vibe. Then, in keeping with the out-dated gendering of the toys, the clit vibe is pink whilst the cock ring is blue. Both have what looks like the same simple bullet vibrator made from ABS plastic, but the difference stems from the TPR sleeve that the vibe fits into.

The Lovehoney Oh! Bath Bomb is part of the Lovehoney Oh! collection, which is their fun gift style range. As such the packaging for the product is designed to look like a gift, with a colourful wrapping paper style design, and printed bow and gift-tag style logo. It’s not obvious from the box that this product includes a vibrator, and this is only something you find out upon reading the fine-print on the back of the box, which makes it pretty discreet. Inside the box the bath bomb is first wrapped in bubble-wrap, to ensure it stays in one piece during transport, and it is then wrapped in a tight plastic to ensure it stays fresh until opening.

Dropping the Lovehoney Oh! Bath Bomb into my bath was a little lacklustre, and didn’t have any immediately crazy effects like some do. According to the box the bath bomb has a “sensual fragrance [that] will soothe your senses, while the blissful bubbles will reveal a whole new world of relaxation”. In terms of fragrance I didn’t experience much, other than a slight musky smell, and in regards to bubbles there was barely any (which you can see from my photos). There was no effect on the water colour either, although it did make the water a bit more soothing on my skin which left it feeling soft. Overall this bath bomb didn’t come close to the Lush style ones I am so accustomed to, but it was better than nothing.

About five minutes after putting it into the water I could start to see the vibrator peeking through the bomb, which was inside a little plastic egg to keep it safe. The anticipation as to what the toy would be (I had not looked into this product online as I wanted to be genuinely surprised) was very exciting, and I really enjoying slowly watching the bomb dissolve until I could finally get to the toy, which happened around the ten minute mark. I was really happy with the style of toy that was inside, as a clitoral vibrator is definitely what I was hoping for. While the jelly-style material the sleeve is made out of was a little disappointing as it’s not body-safe, for a Lovehoney product only costing $25 I was not at all surprised by this. One thing that did make me a little nervous however, was that to turn the toy on I had to open the battery compartment to remove the safety paper, which is not a fun activity to do in the bath!

Even though this type of vibrator is the sort I would never normally go near even if you paid me (literally), I really enjoyed using it in this novelty setting. The bullet vibrator only has one setting, which is buzzy as hell, but I enjoyed using it anyway and even managed to orgasm with it. The sleeve also felt great, and I found that I really enjoyed using it with my finger inserted instead of the vibrator. I’ve long wanted a silicone finger sleeve to aid masturbation, and so if this had been made from a body-safe material it would have been a real winner for me. One thing I also enjoyed about the bullet vibe is that you didn’t need to fully ‘click’ the button to turn on the vibrations, instead you could just lightly press it to turn the vibrations on and off instantaneously. As I mentioned before I had to use this product at my Mum’s house to access the bath tub, so having the ability to turn the vibrations off quickly was fantastic. On the topic of discretion, the vibrator also wasn’t too loud, so you need not worry about using this if you’re in a similar situation to me.

Overall, both of the products in the Lovehoney Oh! Bath Bomb were pretty lame. But, in using them together in this novelty setting? I really enjoyed it. I would 100% recommend this as a fun gift for someone, especially if they don’t already own any sex toys, as it would be a really playful and relaxed way to introduce it to them.

Sadly, the Lovehoney Oh! Bath Bomb For Her has now been discontinued.

Continue with more of my bullet vibe reviews here!

Last updated: 9/4/24

Price at the time of writing: $24.95 AUD / $19.99 USD

Affiliate links have been used in this post. 

I have been lusting after ZALO’s Sweet Magic line for years. You see, unlike most other toy brands, ZALO splits their products into collections, which are each inspired by a different theme. Since I tend to review new products though, so far I’ve only tried their latest range, the Legend Series, which takes its aesthetic cues from ancient Egypt. I loved those products and they really helped to establish ZALO as one of the best companies in the industry, but really it just made me want to try the Sweet Magic line even more. Based on the anime magical girls I grew up with, like Sailor Moon and Cardcaptor Sakura, I felt like these toys were made for me. But despite all this, Sweet Magic is a fairly old range, and as such it seemed unlikely I would be asked to review anything from it. So you can imagine my excitement when ZALO recently announced they would be adding a new toy to the collection! Plus, not just any toy, but the Amorette, an absolutely beautiful egg-style vibrator that truly looks like nothing I’ve ever seen before.

Product Description

The ZALO Amorette, or Amour as it was previously called before a recent name change, is truly unique. Saying that about sex toys can be a bit cliche and is often overused, even by me, but this is a case where I really mean it. It has a small pale-pink egg-shaped body that features two wings which constantly remind me of the ones featured on Cardcaptor Sakura’s staff. ZALO’s usual silky soft silicone (which is also surprisingly lint-free) then covers it entirely, whilst the thin and curved tail-like cord that stems from the side opposite the wings has a round ball at the end, which is where the toy’s single button, and ZALO logo, can be found. Other than the small and necessary USB charging port on the toy’s underside, the Amorette is visually faultless and easily the cutest sex toy I’ve ever seen, let alone owned. But it’s not just its aesthetic appearance that sets this toy apart from the rest, and that’s what makes it really special.

I mentioned before that the ZALO Amorette is an egg-style vibrator, however that is quite a simplification of this versatile product. Like an egg vibrator you can place this toy inside yourself for internal stimulation, whilst the cord hangs outside for easy retrieval. However, not only does this toy vibrate, but its wings also swing back and forth quickly for added stimulation, similar to ZALO’s PulseWave technology that they previously used in the HERO. The intention here is then that the wings are then able to internally stimulate your G-Spot, whilst you’re also receiving pleasure from the vibrations. Plus, whilst the Amorette does come with a remote like most other egg vibrators, you can also control it with the button at the end of its cord, which is a smart feature I haven’t seen before. Then, in addition to internal use, this toy is also designed to be used externally on the clitoris, either via the vibrations or the wing’s flicking motions. Despite all this great stuff, unfortunately the Amorette is not anal-safe and whilst it is waterproof ZALO recommend a maximum immersion of less than 30 minutes and depth of less than 1 meter / 3 feet.

Custom Case

Another element that makes the ZALO Amorette so impressive is its storage case, which is on a whole other level from anything you may have received with a toy before. Firstly, as with all of ZALO’s products it is beautiful and follows the Sweet Magic theme perfectly, with a pink and gold colour scheme and picture of cupid shooting an arrow embedded into it. The lid is then held closed magnetically, but opening it up lets you place the Amorette inside for storage, where it fits neatly. I love everything about this design, as its small size means it would be great for travel, its strong magnets mean it won’t open accidentally, and its appearance means it’s extremely unlikely to be recognised as a sex toy. But the best bit about this case is that it is also the product’s remote control, and as such on its underside are three buttons. However it gets even cooler… because with this remote you don’t even need the buttons, because it has the ability to use motion control, meaning all you need to do is move the remote around, kind of like a Nintendo Wii Remote, for it to alter the toy’s vibrations. Plus, if this isn’t enough then the Amorette is also compatible with ZALO’s phone application.

Packaging

ZALO sent the Amorette out to me on the 8th of November and I promptly received it on the 13th. Unfortunately the box was not very discreet though, as it had “Handheld massager” listed as the contents, and “Zalo Health Care” listed as the sender. ZALO are well known for their luxurious packaging, which is some of the best in the industry, so I was pretty excited to see what they had in store for the Amorette. However, I have to say I feel a little let down, as even though I can’t fault the packaging, it is definitely not what I expected from this brand. Presented in a simple plastic box featuring the Sweet Magic style branding and information on the toy, you’re able to see the Amorette prior to opening it through a clear window. Once opened you can then remove the product and its case, as well as a simple instruction manual and charging cord. While the simplicity of both the packaging and the product’s accessories isn’t really what I expected from ZALO, I know that the Amorette is supposed to be their first budget-friendly sex toy, so perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised that this isn’t as luxurious as I’ve come to expect from the brand. Plus, while it doesn’t come with ZALO’s typical warranty cards, this toy does still come with a one year warranty.

Charging

Charging the ZALO Amorette is easy since it is USB rechargeable. Just plug one end of the charging cord into the hole on the toy and the other end into a USB port. When charging a light on the toy should flash, and when it’s done the light will remain solid. Charging should then take 1 hour, and this should give you 1-2 hours of playtime. While these charging times are impressive, I will say that I have had multiple issues where the toy has either been dead when I’ve gone to use it or where it has died during use, despite being on a full charge. This has certainly made my testing of it frustrating, and suggests that either mine is faulty or that its battery isn’t as powerful as it’s supposed to be. In addition, while the Amorette itself is USB rechargeable, the remote control is operated via a CR2032 battery, which comes with the product.

Controls

Since the ZALO Amorette only has a single button for manual control it is pretty easy to use and understand without referring to the instructions. To start, just click the button once, which will put the toy into stand-by mode, as indicated by blinking its light. While I generally dislike stand-by modes because they’re easy to forget about and thus have the potential to drain the battery, I admit they are sometimes necessary for remote controlled toys. Due to this, however, I do at least wish that the light on the Amorette was a bit more obvious. After turning it on you can then click through the toy’s five modes, two of which are steady speeds and three of which are patterns, before returning to stand-by mode. Now, when it comes to clitoral toys I never see just two steady speeds as acceptable, but what makes this worse is that these two speeds are then split-up between the patterns (as the toy modes go: steady speed > pattern > steady speed > pattern > pattern). It always boggles my mind whenever toy companies do this, because it alienates people who don’t enjoy patterns, which seems to be the vast majority of us.

The Remote

After being completely unimpressed with the controls using the toy manually, I was extremely thankful and relieved to see that not only does the remote offer more methods of control, but also has far more vibration options. To connect the two, first you must put both into stand-by mode, and on the remote this is achieved by clicking the button with the ZALO logo and indicated by flashing lights. After a few seconds the two will connect, which will be indicated by the toy vibrating quickly and the lights on the two becoming steady, before automatically placing the toy into its first vibration mode. Typically connection is quick and without issue, although every now and then I do have trouble with it. When using the remote there is then 6 modes to choose from, which you can access by continuing to click the logo button, the first being the motion control, and then one steady speed and four patterns. The best bit about the remote though is that you can use the plus and minus buttons to change the intensities of all the modes (besides the motion control) by five levels, and the level you are on is indicated by the lights on the remote. So this means using the remote essentially gives you access to 25 different modes (again, not counting the motion control), within which there are five different steady speeds. I’m obviously super happy about this and as such I really only use the Amorette when I am also able to control it with its remote. My only complaint, however, is that rather than having the steady speed be the first of the vibration modes after the motion control like you’d expect, it’s in the middle of the pattern modes.

Motion Control

In regards to the motion control, well, I have to admit it is a little all over the place. The idea for it was that when holding the remote flat the vibrations would run on their lowest speed, and the more you turned it the higher they would become. This idea does work, but I think perhaps the remote is too sensitive because the speeds are constantly jumping up and down even if you’re barely moving the remote. Overall I think using it like this could be a lot of fun with your partner, but it’s more of a gimmick than anything and I can’t see anyone seriously using it like this in order to help themselves orgasm. I will admit though that it is pretty neat to see the little wings move in correspondence to how I move the remote.

The App

Even though it has been less than a year since my original tests of ZALO’s phone application, which I discuss in my ZALO Queen Set review, I was certain that the app must have had a major update in that time, because it was so bad before. Shockingly, however, the app is exactly the same as it was back then, and so there isn’t much point in me reviewing it again. In regards to the Amorette it adds nothing new, and I find it easier to simply use the remote control instead.

First Impressions

Upon turning the toy on for the first time there were a few things I immediately noticed. Firstly, while certainly still on the buzzy side of things, the vibrations are a lot stronger than I expected. Next, while the ZALO HERO used the brand’s proprietary PulseWave technology, which had its own motor independent from the vibrations, it seems that instead the Amorette simply uses the residual motion from its vibrations to create the movement of its wings, which is a cheaper, and in my opinion inferior, way of doing things. This idea is reinforced by the fact that the PulseWave technology isn’t featured in the advertising for the Amorette and that the vibrations and stimulation modes cannot be operated independently, which is also likely why the vibrations on the toy are so unexpectedly strong. Another difference I then noticed between the Amorette and similar products, such as the ZALO HERO and SVAKOM Siren, is that while those toys have quite a large swing width, the Amorette’s wings only have a very small range of movement. This is likely an intentional design rather than a fault however, and due to the size of the Amorette’s wings and the spacing between them, which doesn’t really allow for any more movement than what it has. Despite this, it does mean that the Amorette has a vastly smaller area of stimulation than other toys, and this combined with the fact that the movement is only being caused by the residual vibrations will likely mean that it is not as intense as what I am use to. Finally, in regards to noise level I did find the Amorette louder than I would have liked, but I believe it would be quiet enough to not be heard behind a closed door, especially during internal use.

My Experience

Since using toys externally is my preferred method this is where I started with my tests of the ZALO Amorette. I found placing the wings over my clitoris relatively easy despite how small they are, and unlike similar toys where it takes awhile for me to warm up enough to use them due to the intensity, I am able to use the Amorette straight-away. While that’s good in that regard, it does instantly show the difference between the Amorette’s intensity compared to toys like the ZALO HERO or SVAKOM Siren, and as such I haven’t been able to orgasm from the Amorette’s wings alone. However, I have found them to be brilliant for foreplay and warming up, and then when I want to up the ante I just move the toy so its whole body is against me, rather than just the wing tips, which allows me to enjoy the vibrations as well and thus reach orgasm. Overall I have enjoyed using the Amorette in this way, although since I need two hands to hold it and its remote, it does limit how I can use it. Another issue worth mentioning is then that the curved tail makes this toy quite difficult to hold on your clitoris, as it never seems to cease getting in the way, which can be quite frustrating.

Next I tested the toy out internally, although I have to admit I was a little concerned about using it in this way. I am not a big fan of internal vibrations and I’ve often found egg vibrators do nothing for me. Plus, while this toy’s whole thing is to use its wings to stimulate the G-Spot, my G-Spot is further back than most and often doesn’t work with a lot of toys. I was excited to try it anyway though, as I’d love to find a toy like this that does work for me, although it unfortunately quickly became obvious upon inserting the Amorette that my worries were founded, as to be honest I can’t really feel anything when this toy is inside of me. There is certainly a little bit of a tickling feeling when I move it around with the string, which means it’s likely near my G-Spot, but that’s about it. It is fun to use alongside a clitoral toy however, as I think the extra stimulation it gives me helps to achieve a more intense orgasm, but I’d never be able to achieve anything from it on its own.

Lastly, while I did thoroughly enjoy using the remote to control the toy and the extra options it gave me, I do have to note that more than once it either fully disconnected from the toy during use or quickly disconnected and then reconnected, which would revert the toy to its first mode.

Cleaning & Care

Since the ZALO Amorette is made from silicone and is waterproof, cleaning it is easy. Just wash it down with some soapy water (although if submerging it be careful to not do so for too long), rinse it, and then leave to air dry. After this you can return it to its storage case. If the storage case also gets dirty then you can just wipe this down too, but be careful to not get it too wet as it is not waterproof. Additionally, make sure to not use silicone-based lubricant with this product, as it may react badly to the silicone it is made of, but if you do then first perform a spot test.

Final Thoughts

I’ve got to be honest: if I were to close my eyes and forget the visual beauty of this toy before being asked if it was any good, the answer would be a huge no. While unique and innovative, there are numerous issues with this product, with the biggest being that it doesn’t really bring me much pleasure. Obviously my opinion about its internal use is very biased, as those types of toys simply don’t work for me, and as such aren’t designed for me. But I can only speak from my own experience, and it hasn’t been a great one. However, is it bad that I really don’t care?? I love cute things, and fill my house with them regardless of what they actually do for me. So, since the ZALO Amorette is easily the cutest toy I’ve ever owned and is immensely nostalgic for me since I’ve been a fan of magical girls for my whole life, it’s going to be loved by me regardless of whether it’s actually any good or not! As for my recommendation however, I can’t really give one, unless, of course, you’re also buying it for the aesthetic.

Sadly, the ZALO Amorette has now been discontinued.

Continue with more of my ZALO reviews here!

Last updated: 22/7/24

Price at the time of writing: $149.95 AUD / $100 USD

I received this product in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. Affiliate links have been used in this post. 

My passion project for the last few months, a huge round-up of some of the industry’s best grinding sex toys, is now out to the world. But with such a diverse range of products already making up this emerging trend, there was more than a few toys I was interested in including that just didn’t make the cut. One of them had to be the intriguing Vibe Pad from ORION Wholesale, which one of the round-up’s main contributors, Nudie Co, had just recently gotten in stock. However, whilst very much a grinder just like the toys in that post, it was at the same time completely different, and ultimately it was left out, feeling too unique to be adequately compared to the others. Thankfully for everyone though, Nudie Co were still kind enough to send one out, so that I might give it a review of its own!

Product Description

Out of the hundreds of sex toys in my collection, the Vibe Pad stands out as something totally new and different. The idea was first coined by fellow sex blogger Tabitha Rayne, who in 2015 released the Ruby Glow with Rocks Off. I still remember how big of a deal a hands-free “seated vibrator” was at the time, and it rightfully won awards and praise for its wonderful level of accessibility. These days, however, it has become the inspiration for a number of other rideable vibrators, and the Vibe Pad is the first I have had the chance to try. The big difference here, though, is the “Pad” element, which ORION take quite literally with a wide piece of thin silicone surrounding the vibrator to improve grip.

With two prominent bumps, one being larger than the other, amidst an otherwise flat surface, the Vibe Pad is effectively a contoured saddle designed to fit your body. Two motors, one in each bump, are then present, allowing you to choose your preferred direction or use both at once for an all-over experience. With a length of 29cm / 11.4″ and a width of 20.5cm / 8″, it is then quite large, despite only having a maximum height of 4.5cm / 1.8″, and in this case it is somewhat reminiscent of the Sybian-style sex machines you can buy. Although the reason I have never tested one of those is due to not having enough space for it in my small apartment, and so the Vibe Pad essentially works as a much more compact version, perfect for people like me. Silky smooth PU-coated body-safe silicone then covers the surface, although the bumps are completely firm, and underneath you’ll find the Vibe Pad’s charging hole, logo, and a single button. Considering this placement, it is then a good thing that the toy also comes with a two-button wireless remote, so you can actually control it during use. A downside is then that the only colour it comes in is purple, but the upside is that it is fully waterproof for play in the bath or shower. Finally, the Vibe Pad is USB rechargeable and it is designed to be used by anyone, regardless of gender.

The Brand

Since it is my first time reviewing a toy from ORION, I just wanted to take a moment to talk about them before continuing on. Traditionally a wholesaler of adult products for the European market, ORION offers a number of my favourite brands, from Doxy and Hot Octopuss to SVAKOM and Snail Vibe. But they also manufacture a few toys themselves, and the Vibe Pad is one of them. One of their most anticipated toys, it launched to the German company in late 2019, and has recently been succeeded by the Vibe Pad 2, which includes a warming function and a small tongue-like flap to provide licking-style stimulation (which I personally don’t love the look of). Whilst consumers cannot buy directly from ORION, their website is always a great place to find new and popular types of toys, many of which you’ll then be able to purchase at your local sex toy retailer.

Packaging

My order with Nudie Co for the Vibe Pad was placed on the 20th of April and I received it on the 28th. The package was then 100% discreet, with no mention of what was inside or who sent it, and as usual Nudie Co had beautifully gift wrapped it, with the box containing a handwritten thank you card, some candy, and dried flowers. Being my first product from ORION, I then wasn’t sure what to expect from the box of the Vibe Pad itself, and what I found I definitely could not have anticipated. Coming in a large cardboard box, which is understandable since it’s a big toy, the packaging features full-body nudity on both the front and inside, which, while fine, isn’t something I am use to seeing and gave me a surprise when unboxing it live on Instagram! A mix of German and English then covers the box, and the front can be opened up to offer a look at the toy through clear plastic on one side and read its instructions on the other side. Once the top is opened, you can then access the Vibe Pad itself, alongside its remote control, charging cord, manual (although this is more like a generic ORION safety booklet and does not feature any information specific to the Vibe Pad), and a battery for the remote. Overall I am happy with this, although obviously if you’re looking for discretion, this is not it. Plus, having the instructions written on the box, and next to a very NSFW image at that, is definitely a bit awkward, as its size means it’s probably not the sort of thing you want to keep. Finally, the Vibe Pad also comes with a one year warranty.

Charging

Since the Vibe Pad is USB rechargeable, charging it is easy. Simply flip it over to access the charging hole on its underside, and plug one end of the charging cord in here and the other end into a USB port. When charging a light next to the hole and on the top will begin to flash, and these lights will become steady once complete. Charging should then take 120 minutes, and will give you approximately 130 minutes of play time, however I have had it run out of charge during testing much sooner than this.

As for the remote, this is battery powered and takes one A23 battery, which you’ll need to insert by sliding off the back cover. This is included with the toy, however after only two testing sessions with the Vibe Pad (totaling maybe under an hour of use), I found that the provided battery no longer worked. This is quite frustrating, especially since A23 isn’t a very typical battery type, so I had to make a special trip just to find a replacement. I presume that I may have just gotten a dud, although something that might have contributed is that once you turn the remote on, there is no way to turn it off again without it first being connected to the Vibe Pad. But the last time I used the remote before the battery died, I was unable to connect the remote to the toy since the Vibe Pad had also ran out of charge, and so I had no choice but to leave it in standby mode. For how long this lasted I am unsure, but apparently long enough to drain whatever was left of the battery.

Controls

Controlling the Vibe Pad is relatively simple, although due to the lack of indication regarding what the buttons do, especially on the remote where the dual controls feature the same symbol, it can be a little tricky when getting started. Plus, when I was initially having trouble I tried referring to the instructions, which do not contain any relevant information, and it was only later that I realised the actual instructions are on the box, even if these are also quite confusing. Basically though, to turn the toy on, you must press the button on its back once, which will place it in stand-by mode. Continuing to click this button will then activate both motors simultaneously, and let you cycle through their seven modes, with three being steady speeds and four being patterns. Alternatively, at any time when the toy is on, you may switch to controlling it with the remote, which is much preferred since you won’t be able to access the manual button during use. Here, you can turn the remote on by clicking either button, and then use the button at the top of the remote to control the larger bump, and the button closer to the toy’s logo to control the smaller bump. You’ll then have access to the same number of vibration modes, but it will mean you can control the two motors independently of each other. Finally, to turn the toy off you can hold down any of the three buttons for three seconds, but do keep in mind that if you turn it off with the remote, you’ll need to get off and use the button underneath the Vibe Pad to get it back on again. Overall I am happy with all of this, and I would say the only downside is not having the toy return to standby mode when turned off with the remote, so that you can pause and unpause it without having to move from your seat.

First Impressions

Being my first toy from ORION and my first rideable toy, I really had no idea to expect from the Vibe Pad. But I figured there wasn’t much room for excuses, since there is ample space for two well-sized motors. Turning it on, I was then quite impressed, finding powerful and rumbly vibrations within. Between the two bumps I would say the motors are the same, despite the size differences, but this works well to keep things feeling consistent. As for the noise level, this is then quite reasonable, especially considering the size of it and how strong the vibrations are, and it also lessens once pressure is applied during use. So while I wouldn’t go so far as to call the Vibe Pad “whisper quiet”, I think with a closed door and maybe some music, any housemates would be none the wiser.

My Experience

Until my recent Grinder Round-Up, I had not masturbated upright in years, so I was quite excited for the chance to take it up another notch with the Vibe Pad. The first thing I did was lay it on my bed for use, but it quickly became obvious that I wasn’t able to sit on it properly like this. So, taking note of the in-use pictures on the box, I decided to instead place it on the corner of the bed, so that my legs could hang over the edge. This worked perfectly, allowing me to sit directly on it and use my legs to help grind if I need to, and has since become my favourite place to use the Grind Pad. The saddle-like bumps are then quite comfortable, fitting my body perfectly, and also provide a great anchor to ensure it can’t slide away from me. Next up it’s time to turn the vibrations on, and this is equally as great, being super rumbly and strong enough to really stimulate me, and by sitting on it I am still able to achieve the usual force that I am use to, although if I do want more then it is very easy to pull the front towards you. My main focus is then on the clitoral vibrations, which I use the larger of the two bumps for, and while I haven’t really found the smaller bump to offer much on its own (it is located just under my anus), having the vibrations on for this as well just adds to the whole experience. You can then sit and let the vibrations do their thing (which is so freeing in a way, as it requires zero effort on your part), or you can grind against it for even more sensation, and either way strong orgasms are sure to follow. Plus, another aspect of the Vibe Pad I have enjoyed (especially since it is winter where I am), is that it is able to be used whilst wearing clothes. So this, combined with how little effort it requires in general, has to make the Vibe Pad the easiest toy to use that I’ve ever tried, and certainly goes to show why these types of toys are so often lauded for their accessibility.

While I don’t usually test toys in the bath unless it’s a particularly prominent part of their abilities, I thought I would give the waterproof Vibe Pad a go considering this cold start to winter has me having a lot of them anyway. Unfortunately though, the toy ran out of battery just as I was about to start using it, so I didn’t really get to try it out. In the short time I did have it in the water though, I noticed a pretty glaring issue. The moment the Vibe Pad was submerged, the remote could no longer connect to it and control the vibrations. So this might be something to keep in mind if you are planning to use it underwater, as you won’t be able to easily change the vibrations or turn off the toy.

Cleaning & Care

Cleaning the Vibe Pad is easy since it is waterproof. Simply wipe it down with some warm soapy water, rinse, and then leave to air dry. As for the remote, I’m unsure whether this is waterproof, so I’d suggest just giving it a light wipe if it’s gotten messy too. Also, don’t forget that since this is made out of silicone, you cannot use silicone based lubricant with it.

Final Thoughts

Trying out new types of toys for the first time can be a real mixed bag, but the simplicity of the Vibe Pad has made it a real winner in my eyes. Feeling as if it’s something that should have existed for a lot longer, it takes all the fun of a Sybian / Cowgirl (at least the external versions) and provides it in a size and price that is both accessible and convenient for the masses. Not only was it a fun way to shake up my regular masturbation, but using it was as easy as just sitting down on a chair and pressing a few buttons. I didn’t even need to take my pants off! And I can only imagine what this would mean for people with limited mobility or who have trouble using regular vibrators for whatever reason. While it wasn’t a perfect toy, from my issues with the remote to it not holding its charge as long as expected, I do feel these things can be forgiven, as I’ve had a great time testing it regardless. Plus, while there’s no doubt it’s expensive, I also think that it’s a good price considering how unique an item it is. So, while I hope to see more seated toys in the future that improve upon the Vibe Pad, I can happily recommend it to anyone looking to invest in a hands-free vibrator now.

You can get the Vibe Pad from Nudie Co for just $179.90 AUD / $125.40 USD, plus use my code GRACE10 to get 10% OFF your total order!

This post was sponsored by Nudie Co, but as always, all opinions are my own. Affiliate links have been used in this post.