The last few years my collection of metal dildos has seen a rapid expansion, and I’m 100% here for it. Previously consisting of just my Njoy Pure Wand, I now have ample choice when it comes to playing with this unique type of toy. And as much as I love silicone, metal has become something of a new favourite. The reliable smoothness, as opposed to never knowing quite what you’re going to get with a silicone dildo, is frankly refreshing, especially for someone who isn’t always the biggest fan of some silicone’s level of tack. Plus, you haven’t really lived until you’ve warmed yourself up from the inside with a pre-heated metal dildo on a cold day. The big downside here is, of course, the price, but thanks to white-label retailers like Funzze, even that’s becoming a thing of the past. Despite being initially cautious about their Pure Wand dupe, I ended up loving it so much it earned fifth place in my Top 10 Sex Toys of 2023. So, when they recently suggested I try their latest metal creation, the Funzze Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo, I was all in.

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I’ve loved watching the rise of the independent fantasy maker over the last few years, but one downside to the trend is the high costs associated with these products. Now, I don’t mean to imply that these toys aren’t worth their prices, of course they are. The amount of time and effort that goes into creating unique designs and then hand-crafting them to ensure maximum appeal, pleasure and safety is huge, and that’s without even considering the cost of silicone, equipment, and all of the other fees and skill sets required to run any small business. Yet I am also aware that it has created a divide between those who can and those who cannot afford them, therefore making anyone looking for a cheaper option more susceptible to instead accepting, either knowingly or unknowingly, a toy made of unsafe materials as an alternative. So, when I saw Funzze had their own version of a fantasy dildo, and for less than $40 USD, I knew it was something I had to investigate further.

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I love browsing the new arrivals section at Funzze to see all the latest sex toys they’re offering. Not only are they surprisingly high-quality and enjoyable products for a white-label retailer (so much so that they dominated last year’s Top 10 Sex Toys), but they are also some of the cheapest on the market. So when I recently saw they had launched a new range of glass toys, my first impression was one of excitement, especially when I noticed their Glass Tentacle dildo, a style I have been wanting to review for a long time. But… after this initial reaction, I hesitated. Even though I regularly talk about glass sex toys and how safe they are, I have actually only reviewed a few, and that was some time ago. Funzze’s options, to make matters even more uncertain, are made of borosilicate glass, yet are not annealed. I ended up doing a lot of research, and you can probably guess the outcome…

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It’s been 19 years since Njoy launched and changed the sex toy industry forever. Coming onto the market with a very small selection of dildos and butt plugs, their commitment to delivering high-quality stainless steel toys paired with carefully considered designs remains unmatched today. Since then, they have only released one other dildo, the Eleven in 2008, bringing their selection to a grand total of three, with the other two being the legendary Pure Wand and the versatile Fun Wand. Whilst I adore the Pure Wand and regularly talk about it here, even though my review was almost eight years ago (!!!), neither the Eleven or Fun Wand ever felt suitable for me personally, with the former being too big and the latter being more akin to an anal version of the Pure Wand. So, although I am very satisfied with just the Pure Wand, I’ll admit I have often thought about what it would be like if this iconic company ever released something new. Well, the wait is finally over, as I am pleased to introduce you to the Njoy Disco.

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Recently I’ve been spending a lot of time at r/SexToys helping to answer people’s questions (say hi if you see me!), and I’ve realised most posts fall into one of two categories. There are the beginners who have no idea where to start or what would work best for them, and then there is the exact opposite: people who know exactly what they want and just need help finding it. It’s made me more aware of just how versatile our desires can be, with many of these requests being for toys outside of the norm (hence why they’re struggling to locate them), particularly when it comes to sizing. I’m so accustomed to the average 18cm / 7″ length and 3.8cm / 1.5″ diameter of penetrables that I barely even stop to think about it, yet it seems there are plenty of people out there yearning for something different, from toys that are long and thin, short and thick, and every possible combination in between. So, when Funzze approached me about collaborating with them, I was instantly intrigued when I saw the Mini Realistic Dildo in their new arrivals.

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It’s been well over a year now since I last reviewed for an Australian independent maker, and oh how things have changed in that time! It feels like just yesterday I was introducing Darque Path and Faux Phallus at the blog, two of the very first local stores to pop up, and now all my dreams have finally come true, with a thriving community of small businesses being located right here down under. One of these such brands is Midnight Menagerie, a Queensland-based shop very much after my own heart. With a range of fantasy designs available in a range of beautiful colours, they also offer TTRPG dice for games such as Dungeons & Dragons, which I’m more than a little partial to. But the thing that most excites me is the variety of size options they offer their toys in, and so when they recently suggested sending me their latest design, the Teufl, I knew it would suit me perfectly.

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